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Culture War Roundup for the week of October 10, 2022

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I've seen exactly one episode of this show, and it was the second to last one. And it was...okay! We got character moments--the orc nationalist was really acting his heart out. Galadriel was a huge bitch, but it seemed intentional rather than tone-deaf, and I actually enjoyed having a Lawful paladin dropped into the setting. Costuming looked pretty good, reminiscent of Peter Jackson without being identical. There were plot revelations and set-piece battles, and all of it was absolutely dripping in dramatic (expensive) visuals.

It would be easy to pick out things I didn't like, too. That whiny child is a moron who only lowers anything resembling emotional stakes. It replicated one of the biggest failures of late Game of Thrones, teleporting armies, in spectacular fashion. The MacGuffin is not just a weapon but a spooky key for the local...public works project? Really? And I'm sure there were plenty of direct contradictions to the Sauron/Númenor timeline of Akallabêth.

From the sound of it, I watched the only decent episode, and most everything previous constituted about 1 episode worth of plot points. There are about 5 characters who make any actual decisions (Galadriel, Halbrand, Adar, Arondir, and Bronwyn; I guess technically Theo). Elendil and Isildur get a pass, as it looked like they were actually developing their own subplot, but everyone else exists to populate the setpieces. The Harfoots and Magic Meteor Man are nowhere to be seen.

In other words, if that's all the consequence of the first five (?) episodes...I'm not surprised they were incredibly dull.

Galadriel is not a Lawful paladin, so I don't get who you are referring to.

Adar is indeed the one sympathetic character in this mess so far.

The visuals are expensive, but the rest of the show doesn't live up to them. It is probably personal taste, but I think the costuming looks bad and the armour is terrible; they have Celebrimbor decked out in a bathrobe I used to have about fifteen years back (mine was blue not green) and the villagers all get to wear mud, except Bronwyn who gets a nice bright blue dress because she is the only person who matters.

They've gone far beyond contradicting established canon to making their own shit up. Now we have Sauron proposing marriage to Galadriel - so what, his motivation for ring-crafting was because he wanted to make engagement and wedding rings?

It's (bad) original fantasy, with the names from Tolkien pasted on. If they dumped any pretence at "faithful to the lore", it would be better, but they lie about that, too.

The most offensive part has been the use of "you're a racist white supremacist" as the general response to all criticism. The show has proven it is not faithful to the lore and they lied about everything, but criticism means you're a racist white supremacist:

Payne looks particularly distressed by the topic. “The spirit of Tolkien is about disparate peoples who don’t trust one another and look different from one another finding common ground in friendship and accomplishing big things,” he says. “That’s the spirit we’ve tried to inculcate into every single comma and period in the show. That this aspiration would be offensive to people and enrage them … it’s very hard for us to understand. What are they protecting? I don’t see how people who are saying these things think that they’re fighting for good. There’s a line in episode seven where Galadriel says every war is fought from without and within. Even if you’re fighting for something you think is good, if you do something worse in that fight, then you become evil. I don’t see how people who are saying these things think that they’re fighting for good. It’s patently evil.”

So I am patently evil because I think Payne is a whiny little pissbaby liar who couldn't write his way out of a wet paper bag, has admitted to being a ten-year loser who couldn't get one script made and had to get J.J. Abrams to use his influence to get them hired, and has consistently lied about being faithful to the text and to canon. Well, boo-freakin'-hoo, you pasty-faced talentless hack.

(What? I'm just being Sauron, being complexly evil in my origin story as they invent a romance for him between him and Galadriel to explain why did Sauron go bad - he's an incel!)

In that single episode, Galadriel was totally a paladin.

  • Heavy armor and equestrian skills

  • Lots of followers despite actively pissing people off—must have a high charisma score

  • Generally a huge zealot

  • Pragmatism code of conduct won’t let her allies kill prisoners

  • Crusading to kill all orcs just because they’re Evil^TM

  • Not even worried about failing her saving throw vs. ash clouds.

Lots of followers despite actively pissing people off—must have a high charisma score

A high Charisma score would be represented by not pissing people off. Charisma isn't a magical force that compels you to like the unlikeable. It's what makes people likeable. That said, yes, Galadriel would be a badly done D&D Paladin.