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PaperclipPerfector  10d ago (text post)   2533 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 6, 2024

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Survey about parenthood: how do you describe people whose kids have left the nest? I was under the impression that the social role of "parent" took a back seat when the kids move out, but a conversation with grandparents last night has gotten some responses I did not expect.

Some people always want to be referred to as parents once they've had kids...and my gut feeling is that I don't like unspoken implications of that. Haven't put it into words yet why, though.

As long as I or any of my siblings alive, my parents will obviously be “my parents”, though they are now also approaching “empty-nester” status once they're no longer boarding a pack of minors.

When/how does this even come up? When it comes to preferred-reference-terms, at least pronouns by contrast are a part of nearly every sentence... if I'm introducing a coworker to a new contact, I won't say “and here is Dr. Michael, a parent and our cybersecurity lead” 🤨

This came up in a meeting with whitehairs. I claimed that setting up childcare on site would help attract parents. To which one replied, "Well, I'm a parent, and I don't see how that helps me any!"

My primary impulse is still "No, you were a parent." And there's some background wars of framing that go into this.

Seems to me like the term “parent” covers more than you intended even without expanding it to cover parents of adults.

Wouldn’t your childcare proposal only benefit a certain subset of parents? I’d avoid confusion by stating directly: instead of “parents” maybe consider using “parents of small children”?

I agree with the whitehair in the abstract, to the extent that if asked without context "are empty nesters parents?" my answer is yes. But from what I can tell from the context you've provided, he was simply being an overly sensitive ass. If you say "providing childcare will help attract parents" it's obvious to everyone but pedants with axes to grind that you're using shorthand for "parents of young children" (afterall, everyone would agree that the parent and primary caregiver of a 16 year old is a "parent," but they are also implicitly excluded from your contextual use of the word).

No, you were a parent.

If I heard "Bob was a parent but is no longer", I would take that to mean that he'd outlived his offspring.

Some people always want to be referred to as parents once they've had kids...and my gut feeling is that I don't like unspoken implications of that.

Some people who have served in the military also do this.

As for parents, perhaps we should treat them the same way? I say we thank them for their cervix.

The pun is appreciated, though the conclusion is not. In my deferens, it's always taken at least two to tango when children are made.

I say we thank them for their cervix

CARLOS!

Could you provide an example of a sentence where you don't think using 'parent' is right?

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