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I haven't been single in over a decade. I remember the norm being to split the bill, I'd sometimes pick it up as the guy. If I picked it up though there was more of an expectation that something physical was happening later. I also tended to date professional working women. It was a point of pride for them that they did not need me to pay for their date.
The other thing I remember was going on "reverse dates" basically one of us went to the other's place first, did some fun activities, then we went out to dinner. I might have picked up those checks more often, but I can't say with any certainty.
In terms of who asks out who, generally it was just men because they had more interest. I don't see anything wrong with a woman asking someone out.
A woman doing a marriage proposal feels very wrong. But I suppose in some specific circumstances it could make sense. Typically men are the more reluctant ones to get married. For the sake of both involved its better if the reluctant party enthusiastically signals that they are over their reluctance and ready to get married. Maybe if a man asks a woman to marry him, and the woman says no, but they continue dating then the ball should be in her court to ask him to get married. Describing and thinking of that kind of scenario doesn't feel nearly as icky as a woman just proposing first.
For the record, I agree with you, but there is some irony in saying that when it comes to asking someone out for dates, the more interested party should do so, but when asking someone for marriage, the more reluctant party should instead.
Asking someone out potentially will benefit both parties and neither risks very much, so it isn't strange to me for either sex to do this. Marriage, however, is generally one-sided in terms of which party stands to gain and which stands to lose, so it is off-putting for women to be doing the proposing. I only really think this because of who is typically the breadwinner. If a young broke guy were with a wealthy woman, I'd also find it off-putting if the broke guy were pushing for marriage.
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