Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
I think you shouldn't have kids unless you are both at least tentatively in the "yes" camp, personally. It's a big commitment which requires a shitload of sacrifice. If your wife is leaning towards "no" at the moment, is she going to be able to embrace the freedom she will have to give up to have those children? It seems to me like it'll be a lot harder for her.
My wife and I don't have children (and can't, as she had to have a hysterectomy a couple of years ago). I do not personally have any regrets. I think that children are a burden, not a blessing, and I am grateful that we don't have that weighing our lives down. I have two nephews (whom I love a great deal), and they scratch the paternal itch pretty well for me. We may come to regret it as we reach old age and have nobody around for us, although to be honest I don't really imagine I will live that long so the point may be moot. But for now, no regrets at all.
To take this a step back, my wife and I are constantly confused by the married couples who got married without being on the same page beforehand. I understand that things can change (especially from a no to a maybe to a yes).
But watching people start their lives together with a 'we'll see what happens' or even worse (which we've seen) - agree to disagree, is maddeningly self-inflicted strife.
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Exactly this. I've seen too many marriages and relationships fall apart on the divided question of children.
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