The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Yeah np. I read Spiritual Enlightenment by Jed McKenna and there was a scene where he talks about like a black cloud coming over people when they realize that no belief is ultimately true.
It really struck me deeply - there were other big things going on in my life at the time like I was struggling in my job and my relationship quite a bit - but that just kind of broke me.
For a few days I went around asking my friends and family and partner what the point of life was, how do they deal with the fact of their death, and did and said some really like unhinged things like threatened some people etc.
Luckily I had a really good support network of close ppl and they helped pull me out of it over the course of like a week. But if not for them I easily could've fallen into a much worse place.
Hello again and thank you for sharing! Although my experience significantly differed in some key ways, (I was having an amazing trip on the best acid I'd ever had before things took a turn, for instance) I can really sympathize with what you went through. My sense at the time was essentially the blackest version of Hindu and Buddhist belief that I could contain; that existence itself is a deep, pervasive, and conscious lie that we believe, that our lives hold no greater meaning than what we personally instill them with, and that with said conscious belief in life we were actively participating in our own torture and suffering.
Yeah, I was a struggling, wangsty kid from the wrong side of the tracks coming to the end of his teen-aged years at the time. I'm happy to report that thanks to the actions of some friends and their families in key places at exactly the right time, I pulled out of it (probably narrowly avoiding inpatient mental hospitalization in the process) and got better! I'm grateful that your support network helped you out, too.
Yeah does sound similar. I also did a lot of psychedelics in my past so that certainly influenced me.
Ugh it's so sad what the modern 'spiritual seeker' culture, especially amongst the youth, has turned into. There's so much chaos, so little understanding. People just freebasing the dharma with no guides or learning about a lineage's path. It is truly dangerous.
Tbh I'm amazed more people don't have total psychotic breaks. I've run into a few other people on twitter that have had them which made me realize I've been lucky.
Talked to a guy who had his parents call the cops on him (because they were scared) and he was forcibly put into a mental health institution. They made him take anti-psychotics and drug tested him, the whole nine yards.
He's doing alright now but he told me he barely remembers any of his twenties because he was in such a drugged out haze, and of course he didn't have much professional or social success during that time.
Just such a fucking travesty that we are so spiritually unaware and our culture treats these experiences and understandings in like the exact wrong way.
Also @Bottomless_pit_supervisor I hope you read this and realize that your situation could be much, much worse. If it already is then I'm sorry for you babe.
Anatta insights are the most liberating thing, but people shouldn't go for them without the guidance of a legit teacher.
How is that liberating? If you don't have yourself, what do you even have?
"yourself" is just a specific type of content in consciousness. You don't need it to live or to function. Definitely don't need it to be happy. The mind's rehearsal of problems to ruminate on, re-running of unfortunate painful patterns and pathologies, and hand-wringing over all sorts of losses, etc, etc, are quite reliant on this "self". For someone to suffer, there must be a someone there. That 'someone' is a construct that you are actually better off without. What remains when you have seen through it and dropped that app? Well, the body, the mind, pure consciousness. Everything except the most troublesome bit.
There are three marks of existence that mar every sentient being: anicca (impermanence), dukkha (suffering), and anatta. Because everything is impermanent, it is unwise to attach to these things (body, wealth, popularity, whatever) for wellbeing because all that has a start has an end. When you lose or may be about to lose something you are emotionally attached to, dukkha is the result. The good news is, it's never personal. Thinking it's personal is a delusion you buy into by believing in the senses of 'self' (physical and emotional sensations built on an idea from the mind).
Yet I need it for something far more important - Meaning. Pain is the proof that you're alive, as well as the price of it. I strongly hold that it's necessary to believe that joy ultimately prevails over sadness, beauty over ugliness, and so on.
I'd rather pursue the strength to bear my pains, than try to extinguish it along with myself through wire-heading praxis of ancient oriental death-cults.
It's not a death cult. Whatever you've heard from dabblers, wackos and drug users about "ego death" and similar things is just nonsense. You don't kill "yourself" at any point by attaining enlightenment. As for not wanting "rebirth", that is in terms of not being reborn in the cycles of suffering anymore. Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with literal rebirth after the death of the body. Needing the conventional "self" for "meaning" is a delusion, a story your mind is telling to itself. You don't have to take the mind's stories seriously. Pain is the proof and price of being alive? Really? Is that actually proof? Can you think of other proofs for being alive? Why attach yourself to wanting to keep having pain? That's a silly addiction. Whatever strength you achieve is temporary. You're going to be old and sick soon. Better to free the mind from delusion than to keep following the carrot on the stick that the mind puts up. You never really get that carrot. Not for more than brief moments anyway. What the mind, through evolution, is shaped to give you is similar to a bone from a butcher that has already been scraped clean. Evolution wants you constantly hungry. Never permanently happy. Serious meditation helps you break free from this unnecessary and pointless prison-construct. I think there's real value to finding the truth of things rather than being strung along by manipulative forces that were thrust upon you.
Can every thought, feeling, conclusion, value judgement be framed as "story"? Maybe I don't quite get what this means for you
Neither do I.
I don't want to be "happy", I don't want to be "content". I have no use for equanimity of a sheep grazing out on a sunny day. I'd rather be eternally hungry, and eternally discontent in pursuit of infinite heights. Of what is worth perceiving, understanding, possessing, enjoying. Camping on the roadside to catch my breath is good and well, but that's not where I'd like to get stuck
How would I do that without any drives and passions, without sense of frustration over not yet having it yet? When pain stands in my way, it becomes another obstacle to conquer, and here meditation and stoic techniques (in moderation) come in handy.
However, obsessing over min-maxing suffering and pleasure is just a waste of my time. Centering your ethics/metaphysics around this is a dead end. It's an animal thing to do.
It's unbecoming of me as a man. This is a betrayal of myself
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What's an anatta insight?
You said you had been deep into Buddhism, dude. :) Anatta = not-self. The realization that the mind's self-construct, like everything else, is empty of some inherent core or inherent existence and is built up by other interdependent processes.
Eh I had been deep into Buddhism but bro there are literally hundreds of terms in languages I don't speak lol. I knew what a lot of them meant back in the day but that stuff has uhhh faded a tad ;)
And yes that sounds like exactly what I experienced. Does that mean I'm like halfway to enlightenment or something?
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