The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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A question--as I'm approaching my personal goal of 30 days sober--why not have a drink (I mean you)? You seem to be set against it, or, put more positively, you seem set on staying sober. I will be at my in-laws soon on August holiday, and I quite enjoy that first cold beer with my father-in-law. Your post here has a foreboding about it, a definite anti-booze vibe, if not a direct or preachy one.
Perceptive as always, Doctor Hale. (I mean that sincerely and with admiration)
There was a time when I needed to be what I call "hard sober." I mentioned this on a previous Sunday thread I think, but in 2023 I was drinking heavily all the time. Never had a rock bottom moment or crisis incident, but from about Halloween through Christmas I came face to face with the fact that I was definitely full throttle on that Highway To Hell.
I think I passed that time somewhere between 100 and 120 days. Like I wrote previously, that's about the time when I no longer thought about drinking to relieve negative emotional states. It was almost a tangible shift and I am happy about it.
Why not have a beer now? I think being sober revealed that there was more work "under the covers" to do. I complain that my life feels more boring - because it is. Well, perhaps I should consider developing some interesting hobbies or otherwise inject dynamism into life. There's another perspective that says, "hey you got to the point in 2023 where you were getting after it pretty hard consistently ... what's to prevent that same thing occurring again?" So, proactive prevention is part of it too.
I'm not anti-drinking. Aggressive teetotalers are much the same as aggressive atheists; their rabid anti-religion is a fervent faith all its own. I am, more than I used to be, leaning more in the direction of "know thyself; and know thy limits" for some people, drinking just is to high risk even if they aren't problem drinkers or full blown alcoholics. In a very discrete case, I had a college friend who had severe loss of motor function and balance even when mildly intoxicated. It was a bizarre and scary sight to see; coherent speech (no slurring) full awareness of surroundings, but all of the kinesthetic ability of a new born deer. For others, it might be that they don't turn into Barry Blackout on the weekends, but they're slow motioning ruining their lives. I've also seen monster drinkers who seem to be immune from hangovers and have objectively high performance lives.
To maybe close with a little pithiness; arbitrary life long decisions are almost always bad. "I'm doing XYZ just because!" isn't a reason to do anything. My reason for not drinking so far is pretty simple; I keep waking up and thinking "Eh, don't feel like drinking today."
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