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Friday Fun Thread for May 17, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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That link just highly autistically presents what any socially adjusted woman already knows, which is that men like big tits on a ‘slim thick’ hourglass shape with long hair.

I don’t think any straight women are unaware of this fact. That high fashion involves rail thin, very tall (for women) models doesn’t mean that the average woman believes that’s most attractive to men; they’re used because using women with more curves makes those curves, not the clothes, the immediate impression of the model on the runway, which defeats the point and distracts from the art, and because a substantial percentage of men involved in fashion are gay and so not looking to maximize sexiness. No woman buys a $4000 Saint Laurent dress over something slutty from fashion nova or shein because she thinks the former is going to make her more attractive to men.

When normal women are dressing to be attractive to men, say for a college Halloween party, they naturally employ almost all of the tools that the article’s author claims modern women don’t understand. The author also appears to believe that there’s a widespread issue with women who have a perfect body dieting to become unnecessarily skinny at the expense of their curves; there isn’t lol. Most women focused on staying rail thin for looks have square/plank/apple shaped bodies which he acknowledges only look good at very low body fat because accumulated weight goes to the belly rather than thighs, breasts or ass.

I have shared this exact article with my girlfriend years ago when she was having a bit of a crisis about her body and it was quite a revelation to her. Sample of one of course

I don’t think any straight women are unaware of this fact

It's not aimed at men.

Yeah it seems to be aimed at women which is why it’s strange, because most women know all this.

Yeah it seems to be aimed at women which is why it’s strange, because most women know all this.

I dunno how to tell you this without offending you but I think you're wrong and possibly living inside a bubble. There are a huge number of women around me who seem to legitimately have no idea what men actually want. I base this on their clothes, their makeup and their idea of what "fit/fat" means.
Their behaviour seems to be very much based on social/cultural cues rather than objective truth. And I've even had experiences where I very gently suggested something along the lines of "nono, you should do X instead" and got a very harsh lecture or hate-filled glare in return.

I think your mistake here is conflating straight women's goal of "trying to attract men" with "trying to maximally arouse men."

While I have various issues with that Aella Good At Sex/what-women-want blog series, one useful concept she established was the idea of "werewolfing" as a state of goal-driven, uncontrolled male arousal that many women find a little scary and unpleasant. A woman would have to live under a rock not to realize that men want big tits in the sense that they'll werewolf and pant and slaver over them; this is a literal cartoon meme. But most women are not sure how to channel that kind of raw animal attention to produce the social and romantic benefits they themselves might actually want, like having the guy attend to their needs, listen to their ideas, praise and admire them, stay intimate even after orgasm, etc. In some cases arousal actually seems to work against romance, in that men seem disproportionately likely to demean the intellectual capacity of extremely voluptuous women, something I'd love to see properly explained from the male end.

I suspect that when young women try to appear sexy in ways that seem puzzlingly suboptimal to straight dudes, a big part of this may be trying to refine or control the type and level of sexual attention they receive, trying to keep men interested enough to be solicitous and respectful, but not fully pushing them over into werewolf mode. If what you did was helpfully point out that they could evoke a bigger boner if they just [X], my guess is it was interpreted as "Since respectful and moderate male attention isn't a thing and women are only good for werewolfing over, here's what my inner werewolf would want." Frankly, I'd respond with a hate-filled glare too.

Is there any paper where women opine on male preferences ? I'm sure there is.

Yes, but no men take them seriously (and that is fair).

So we agree women are just clueless about male preferences, and likely to believe stuff such as that men find women like Kate Moss on average as sexually attractive as women of the type of say, Bellucci or Hayek ?

We agree that some women give bad and self-serving advice to men just like some men give bad and self-serving advice to women. Nevertheless, just like most men know implicitly that women prefer tall, handsome, successful men, most women know implicitly that men prefer slim thick women with big naturals. I’m unsure about the confusion.

I think you're typical minding. You're not a median woman, very far from it, furthermore you're old enough to have used your vastly superior mental tools to get a whole lot of experience.

What does a median 18-22 woman know about these things? Women are conformist, they 'read the room'. If media and society keep putting out a message "being chubby is bad etc" a young woman might have spent years as deluded about male preferences as some guys are deluded about female ones (the so called 'nice guy' ). Sure that's not very applicable now with the obesity epidemic, nevertheless..

Also, there's a whole bunch of research that found women don't really know what men want, body shape wise.

Unless my memory is playing tricks on me, yes.

And on the internets!!!

My attempts at intervention for eating-disordered girls high on thinspiration leads me to observe that being attractive to men doesn't even register on why they are deadset on seeing their wristbones. Inclusion into strangely discriminatory female spaces or attaining self control over ones body were the biggest root reasons, nothing to do with trying to get dudes.

Inclusion into strangely discriminatory female spaces

Something like this?

"Having been both a student and teacher at MIT, my personal explanation for men going into science is the following: 1. young men strive to achieve high status among their peer group; 2. men tend to lack perspective and are unable to step back and ask the question 'is this peer group worth impressing?'"

Young men, like most young people, are self centered idiots. The train of thought is 'I am impressed by people who are good at X so if I am good at X people will be impressed by me'. That other people are in fact individuals with their own preferences takes time to learn: kids still insist that I love cocomelon as much as they do, despite repeated attempts to convince them of the contrary.

It's worth noting that while some of the impetus for anorexia may come from social and cultural expectations and so on, it is very, very much a mental illness and has dysmorphic components. You can't easily reason your way out of it especially if people "feel" fat (while objectively being thin, it's somewhat of a psychotic process). "Yeah yeah if I was really skinny you might be right but I just have to shed these last few pounds to be normal" is a bizarre sounding but reasonable in their own mind response.

The only two anorexics I ever knew in real life were my grandmother in her final years and a boy I went to school with. The meme when I was growing up was that teenage girls caught anorexia from reading fashion magazines. It jarred so much with my own experience that I always figured there must be more to to disease than 'I wanna be skinny so boys will like me'.

Having had more than one close friend who struggled with anorexia, this jibes with my experience. At no point did "slimming down in order to become more attractive to men" ever enter into it.

Yeah, it’s mainly about intra-gender competition which may have at its root some relationship to what men find attractive but which has long since transcended that basis. Same is true for ‘bigorexia’ / body dysmorphia among gym bros, they don’t really think that looking like a roided out human pit bull is attractive to women, they just want to be the biggest guy in the powerlifting gym.

One of the observations about anorexia is that before modernity it also existed but those women claimed they were fasting for religious reasons. There might even be a saint who starved herself to death rather than suffer some indignity like forced marriage. (not sure)-

It looks more like something broken and the sufferers confabulating reasons for wanting to be that way.

And the same with makeup. Women keep hearing from men that the best-looking makeup is "NMM", but intra-gender competition pushes them towards heavier and more explicit warpaints to show off their proficiency.

As the old saying goes, "Remove one piece of jewelry". Unfortunately, that's hard to do with makeup.