sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
Suddenly I cannot remember the color of your eyes
Or the things we said as we stood together for the last time
User ID: 636
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
2hr ago
In the Amish sample, 19% have no children and the rest have children. 33% have between 6 and 21 children. In the general pop, 28% have no children. (That’s going by “number of pregnancies” as a proxy for children). It’s important to learn how to read a simple data table if, in the same reply, you tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Apologies, I misstated this.
Psychosocial Hassles Scale, married with children Amish are happier than never married general population women.
Sure, but that's a weird comparison. In both populations never married women score higher on psychosocial hassles than the other groups. The difference between married with children and married without is very small in terms of SDs in both populations.
None of this helps us answer the original question - do women find children relaxing or not?
So in regards to the n=1, she might be stressed around her children because she never learned the skills of motherhood during her formative years of adolescent cognition.
I again repeat that my wife is not a stressed woman.
She, and several of the other mothers I've talked to who have children, also have younger siblings and participated in raising them.
Because the important question is whether women would be happier being a at home with kids in a culture which prepares them for this role, versus our current culture which promotes almost the exact opposite values and skills (sedentary studying, avaricious competition, &tc).
There's a lot of nuance here that you're missing, likely due to your inexperience with family life.
Women generally enjoy raising children, no doubt about it. That's why they have them, and often have more after having one.
Women would be happier at home with young kids assuming that the income they give up makes little marginal difference in the household's consumption habits. That's why high income husbands have wives most likely to stay home. If staying home is too much of a lifestyle downgrade, women prefer to work to maintain their lifestyle.
Once the youngest children are in school, a SAHM's life changes significantly and they have a tremendous amount of free time open up. They often go into part time or volunteering work because sitting alone at home for 7 hours a day with nothing to do is not very fun. Among the rich, this often manifests in nonprofit board membership. There's little appetite for being a SAHM for when the youngest is 13 and mostly wants to hang out with their friends.
None of this indicates anything about whether women find raising children relaxing. There's a lot of things in life that are meaningful and worthwhile that are not relaxing, and are actually in fact quite exhausting. If you've ever had a job you've found meaningful, you should already understand this. If you ever raise (especially young) children, you will understand this infinitely more.
Your arguments about this inevitably end up in a gish gallop of unfalsifiable no true Scotsmen (the women find children exhausting because they've been brainwashed! Or because they weren't raised right! Or it was generational trauma from their mothers!). This is fundamentally rooted in lack of experience with real family dynamics. Internet forums cannot replace this. It's bizarre to be one of the biggest tradposters on the forum when you don't lead a trad life and seem to mostly know the trad life based on looking at Amish people and discord.
I encourage you to remedy this.
I don’t think your n=1 wife who likely works has any relevance here.
My wife hasn't worked the entire time we've had children, and I've talked to other women who have had children and worked or didn't work at different times of their kids' lives. My wife is also not a stressed woman, which is not to say that she finds kids "relaxing".
My point is that if you've literally never raised a child and get your view on what it's like, and what women think of it, from discord and other Internet forums, you basically have no idea what you're talking about. It is, quite simply, one of those human experiences that you have no access to without going through it yourself.
I am curious - have you actually discussed whether or not children are relaxing IRL with a flesh and blood woman? Even your mother?
Here is n=288 showing that sahm culture produces 1/4th the amount of “feeling overloaded” as girlboss culture and 1/10th the depressive on a symptoms scale.
That's really not what this is comparing.
The groups are Amish women vs non-Amish women, so there's already a lot of differences between the groups besides "works" or "sahm".
Only a minority of both samples (19% Amish, 28% genpop) are mothers. So most of the comparison here is between women without children, rather than SAHMs vs working mothers.
28% of the Amish women work, and 75% of the non-Amish women work - so this isn't even comparing "Amish SAHM" vs "non-Amish working mothers".
Given that this is mostly a comparison of unemployed childless women vs employed childless women, I'm hardly surprised the first group is less overloaded than the second. Especially since the Amish are generally okay with using washing machines - the work of running the household without any kids is just not that much.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
7hr ago
Okay, no wife, no kids. That explains a lot.
Can a woman pause her work when she gets tired of it? Do you think SAHMs play “excel simulator” to relax?
What does this have to do with anything? Did anyone make the ludicrous claim that work is relaxing?
Preferences are revealed.
Pal, I don't know if you want to go down the revealed preferences route given the revealed preferences women apparently have around marriage and number of children. Your whole argument revolves around how women would be happier if they did something other than they do - i.e. a denial of the validity of the revealed preferences.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
I upgraded from grinding at the grocery store to a chinesium kingrinder k2 burr grinder which seems pretty good to my unsophisticated palate. It's not motorized, but I don't find that to be a huge deal.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
I've seen this manifest as "girlfriend" vs "partner" but I have yet to see "committed but unlabeled" and "girlfriend".
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
It would seem that women and men have very similar performance in Olympic shooting, which has got to be pretty coordination loaded. I'm not convinced that there's much of a gap after all. Esports gaps are easily attributed to the well known gender autism gap.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
She said yes, but then a few days later said she thought we were moving too fast and requested we go back to just seeing each other (albeit exclusively).
Do Zoomers Really? What is the difference between seeing someone exclusively and a gf?
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
Women are relaxed around children.
You don't actually have a wife and kids, do you?
When women want to relax they often play a simulation game of nurturing people and doing chores (Stardew, Animal Crossing, SIMs).
Notably, these games can be paused when you get tired of them.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
Women also get btfo'd in hand-eye coordination contests
What is the gap here in comparison to e.g. the grip strength gap?
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
1d ago
It's just inherently funny to see someone trying to maxx a trait get mogged by someone who isn't trying. Has nothing to do with whether or not he claims to be the most attractive man on the planet or not.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
2d ago
Can it really be the case that you are arguing that Trump would never play 4D chess?
Russia is an empire """federation""" that includes Muslim provinces, so it's a bit different for them.
Indeed, but even Moscow is 3.5% Muslim. Crimea is 15% Muslim - I admit I don't know what it was before Russia invaded, but given that Ukraine has very few Muslims it sure sounds like Russia (shall we say, deliberately?) just flooded the territory with Muslims.
And, one wonders how those Muslim provinces found their way into the country if not through a deliberate process of what some might call foreigner importation.
They also aren't liberal, so they're allowed to take measures that will ensure the cohesion of Russian culture, or will promote some reasonable ethnogenesis. None of this is the case anywhere in NATO.
NATO includes the notably pozzed and liberal countries of Albania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Macedonia, and Turkey. Now, I don't want to get into a gish gallop about why Hungary is actually not allowed to have a culture, or about how Albania is full of Muslims (I do concede this point), or practically unfalsifiable claims about how Macedonia has a nonzero number of Africans so it's going to be 30% Congolese by 2050. Suffice it to say that I don't really believe you that NATO members are not allowed to maintain their culture or are required to agree with the DNC on every point.
I think that as a Belgian you are typical minding here - the reason that Belgium is pozzed and liberal has nothing to do with NATO getting its claws into you and everything to do with Belgium being filled with Belgians.
Though at the end of the day, I don't even know if I disagree with you about their long-term prospects, and wasn't making the argument that Ukraine would be better off as a part of Russia. I was pointing out that his portrayal of the West demanding a national suicide is correct.
If you concede that it's suicide either way, then the point is moot.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
Wrapped up Locke Lamora. Overall 6/10 - the plot holes became too big to ignore by the end (
Started on Hesse's The Glass Bead Game. I'm a little concerned that it's just going to glorify exercises in intellectual masturbation but it has a touch of Borges that makes me willing to stick it out.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
To confirm this, all you have to do is look at how demographic trends developed in other European countries. At one point they also had just a few percent of Africans / Asians / Muslims, and your exact argument was deployed in the exact same way you are doing here.
Okay. However, as I already noted, over 10% of Russia is Muslim. If 0.09% of Poland being Indian means it's over for Poland and they're going to be flooded with Indians, that should go a hundredfold for Russia and becoming Russian clay results in Ukraine being flooded with Muslims.
Not sure how that's relevant. The illegal immigrants that were let in under Biden were also illegal. They were still let in deliberately.
I did note that a pedant would say that visas were not granted accidentally and therefore it was deliberate. However, this also means that Russia is deliberately filling the country foreigners as well - so I remain confused where and why the distinction is drawn.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
There's some evidence that pet ownership makes childbearing more likely.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
I don't understand the claim. The biggest foreign worker demographics in Poland are Ukranians and Belorussians, together accounting for about a million people out of 1.3 million foreign workers. I do concede these are foreigners, but somehow I doubt that this is what we are talking about.
The word "deliberately" is especially puzzling in this case since these visas were apparently issued illegally as revealed by an internal investigation. Seems easier to sweep this under the rug if it really is coming from a deliberate top down policy, although I do concede that in the strictest pedantic sense these visas were issued "deliberately" as opposed to accidentally.
Are you under the impression that there are no foreign workers in Russia, or that Russian work visas are somehow not issued "deliberately"?
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Indian population of Poland is around 0.09%. Perhaps some sophistry can turn this into "filled", but I'm not impressed.
When responding, please keep in mind that Russia is 10%-15% Muslim.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
Is there any belief by any serious thinker that this is a war of genocide?
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We are supposed to treat seriously claims of "white genocide" because white people in the west can't breed. However, when Russia deports ukranian children and bans the ukranian language the G-word is totally unfitting.
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Very few wars are fought with the explicit aim of putting a bullet in the head of every citizen. Nevertheless, wars short of that can be existential for the state.
NATOs puppet state and filled with Africans.
Interesting. And Ukraine was being filled with Africans between 2013 and 2022, right? And e.g. Poland (also a nato puppet if there ever was one) is also filled with Africans?
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
It's like you're in an MMA match, and the guy you're fighting is going to kill you if you lose (but he's going to walk away regardless).
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
One caveat on the 100k emergency fund thing, if you guys have really high annual spend, and I’m talking like 200k and above here, then 100k makes total sense as that’s only 6 months of spend.
Only if that's 200k of required spend (e.g. rent). If you're spending 200k due to taking three luxury cruises a year, it's probably okay to not factor that into your emergency buffer.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
4d ago
Magritte and Dali are fairly popular I'd say. Dali is googled about half to a third as often as Picasso, which is really not bad.
I've got multiple credit cards plus a bank card all stored on my phone. When my banks have flagged transactions as fraud, I'm able to authorize them via SMS. IME digital wallets continue to work even if a card is deactivated for some reason and replacement cards are mailed overnight, so the opportunity cost of keeping thousands under the mattress outweighs anything else.
I've also never had a situation where I had an expense that positively could not be put off for a few days and was payable in cash.
sarker
hantavirus landfill tour guide
5d ago
I've got about $20 in cash in my wallet and probably $5 in quarters somewhere in the car.
Why, no, that's not what I mean.
It may surprise you that it is in fact the case that you're mistaken about several of your "no true Scotsmen" assertions about the conditions necessary for a mother to find children relaxing in the context of my wife. It's not your fault, since you don't know her - but one wonders what possesses a man to invent stories about another man's wife.
Comfort isn't the question here. I'm perfectly comfortable doing my job for which I have extensive training. Nevertheless, it is exhausting.
I hope I don't have to explain why you can't compare Amish vs genpop stress and conclude that motherhood isn't stressful. Instead, I'll pretend you reiterated my point about the small gap in stress between married women and married women with children in both groups. I'll go ahead and reiterate what I already said in response to that point, which is that you can find something meaningful, fulfilling, and also utterly exhausting. I also couldn't immediately tell what goes into the hassle assessment, so it's unclear to what extent it even measures what you think it measures.
I'm genuinely puzzled that you don't understand this point. I'm my last post, I assumed that you had worked a job that you doing fulfilling at some point. Am I mistaken on this? Have you never done that? Generally speaking, have you ever done something hard, taxing, exhausting, yet absolutely worth doing?
Has a mother ever told you that raising (especially small) children is relaxing?
I can't help but feel as if your knowledge of childrearing, but also of women's attitudes towards it are entirely symbolic, in the sense that you derive this knowledge entirely from reading words on a screen. Am I correct in this assessment or does the rubber meet the road somewhere?
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