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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 6, 2024

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It's worth noting that the people's favourites were, in order:

  • Croatia (an energetic, rock-adjacent anthem written in broken English)
  • Israel (a standard Euro-ballad that was originally called 'October Rain', forced to change by the producers)
  • Ukraine (a vaguely ethnic, vaguely religious ballad with light effects very reminiscent of bombs)
  • France (a minimalist love song by an established French singer with an impressive voice)
  • Switzerland (the jury winner)

The juries came with a similar list, but put Switzerland much higher, and gave very few points to Israel. So either Israel's song was great, and the juries were biased against them, or it was meh and the public were biased in favour of them. Also the juries love a man in a skirt.

Other highlights include:

  • Finland - A comedy song by 'Windows95Guy' which involved him running around on stage wearing nothing from the waist down, his skin-tone pouch strategically blocked by scenery a la Austin powers.
  • Ireland - Another non-binary (a woman this time) seemingly trying to summon a literal demon.
  • UK - A gay guy sings while buff male backing dancers gyrate on eachother. Somehow not the gayest entry this year.
  • Audible booing every time the head of the European Broadcasting Union appeared on screen (for letting Israel compete).
  • Several coded anti-Israel statements from national representatives (ostensibly talking about peace and love).
  • Plus lots of 90s throwbacks, obscure ethnic instruments and young women in Beyonce-esque bodysuits.

Altogether a fairly standard year for Eurovision.

UK - A gay guy sings while buff male backing dancers gyrate on eachother

Nul Points from tele voting

As is tradition

Yes, but they deserved it this year.

I was shocked at how well Israel did in the popular vote. Not only was their song kinda boring and mid but politics is a huge part of the televote (and jury vote?) and I thought what with public support for Palestine, Israel would get a super low score in the televote.

Possible explanations:

  1. I have terrible taste in music, the song was actually a banger, but the juries hated it for reasons.
  2. Joe public's support for Palestine / antipathy for Israel is hugely overstated and in fact most people are still very sympathetic toward Israel after October 7. I am extremely online.
  3. People are not necessarily sympathetic to Israel, but are massively sick of constant pro-Palestine protests, and this was pushback.
  4. people felt sorry for 20-year-old Eden Golan constantly getting booed by the crowd.
  5. The BDS movement to boycott Eurovision was weirdly effective which trimmed off the pro-Palestinians, and consequently their votes.
  6. Mossad did it.

Thoughts, anyone?

70% of Europeans believe that there are too many migrants.

It could very well be that people dislike Muslims and Arabs so much that they'd favor Israel just because of the recent very loud and obnoxious activism on behalf of Palestine.

Cold be 3.

7 A lot of people care a lot about Israel-Palestine, but the pro-Israelis could dump all 20 of their votes onto Israel, while the pro-Palestinians in the audience couldn't coordinate.

8 A conspiracy by rich Jews to buy votes (1 euro per vote).

Personally, I think 1 and 7. I wouldn't describe the song as a "banger", but I put it at 4th, after Croatia, Armenia (I sometimes have quirky taste), and France.

Fair - there was an 'Israel' button but no single 'not Israel' button - the closest to that was Irish singer Bambie Thug who has been at the centre of some very juicy Israel/Palestine drama, tried to get the Israeli team banned and the producers prevented xirself from wearing a pro-Palestinian slogan during her performance, but I guess that was opaque to most viewers.

Armenia

Now, that was a banger!

6

Ireland - Another non-binary (a woman this time)

This made me laugh (sorry I haven't got anything more substantive to add).

Watching all that has convinced me 'Windows95Guy' is the ruritanian version of Bowling for Soup making fun of the superfluous gayness in everything else.

Windows95man has a decade of career as a DJ and a visual artist, he's not really a musician (well, unless you count his DJ career as being a "musician"). His selection was originally quite controversial in Finland as well, I think that it was an attempt to redo Käärijä's flamboyant personality from last year but forgetting that Cha Cha Cha was a legitimate banger by itself. Croatia's entry was Käärijä's true heir this year.

OK, even I have to admit that a luchador and what appears to be a washroom attendant rapping what seems to be Kpop but put through a filter to make it sound like the black tongue of mordor would have improved that video.

Israel's song was pretty good, all things considered, but the juries probably smelled an opportunity for shitshow of epic proportions to happen (riots in Malmö, riots in the hall itself, all the issues related to organizing the contest next year in Israel etc.) if it won and thus purposefully blocked it.