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ymeskhout  2yr ago (text post)   5463 thread views

What is your favorite Motte post ever?

I'm curious about not just what your favorite post is, but also what you think is the GOAT, or perhaps what you think is most illustrative and representative of this space (e.g. what would you show someone to get them intrigued). Please limit your post to only ONE pick and briefly explain why you chose it. This can be from anywhere within the Motte's history thus far, and r/TheThread is a good place to check in case you're having trouble finding something. Asking for a friend.

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The one about step parents being 40 times more likely to abuse kids than biological parents. The west gets family wrong, I will likely never divorce my wife since marriage in Hinduism is a bond for many lives, not just one and the main unit is the family. My mother stayed in a marriage I never would have despite it not even being my fathers fault. My family had some genuinely terrible circumstances and my mother could have left, had I been her, I would have but she stayed for us. I do not wish anything bad on kids who have step parents but anyone who stays together despite issues deserves respect.

I really liked the one about /u/tracingwoodgrains wedding. Other than that maybe the ones where standard_order told me to get addicted to natural dopamine or where everyone trashed me because my oneitis began dating some other dude. I did not get what the people meant back then but it makes more sense the more I read it. The standard_order post was in october 2020 and this one in march 2021. January 2021 stands out too but yeah.

One that will forever stand out would be the book review of from third world to first.

The one about step parents being 40 times more likely to abuse kids than biological parents

I think you should read Grimms Bros folk tales. The Juniper Tree in particular.

i will, thanks.

I will likely never divorce my wife

This confused me for a little bit since I recognized your name: "Aren't you the guy who posts about his girl troubles?"

Then I realized that you meant your future-wife, or did something happen and I'm not aware of it?

lmao, I mean my girl issues stem from just being in a small place where I cannot meet many girls. This will vanish when I move out and interact with a bunch more pretty high iq girls on the regular with better logistics and a suitable lifestyle.

I mean my future wife as in when I do get married and have kids with her, I will not divorce her as that is not how families work according to Hindu ideals.

My parents made it work and because of better understanding of how thins work, I should have an easier time.

regardless, divorce is off the table, marriage is like being tied to a ship, you sink with your mate. Now the question of unfaithfulness is a big one here which is especially why I go out and talk to girls so that I am not green when I settle down.

This confused me for a little bit since I recognized your name: "Aren't you the guy who posts about his girl troubles?"

lmao, I hope I become known as the guy who is disciplined in the near future instead of this. This made me laugh and get a bit sad but mostly laugh.

Won’t your marriage be arranged.

I am very unlikely to have that given that the best genes have fled the arranged marriage market in the country so you now have a weird system. Romantic love is the one thing everyone "believes" in here which is what caused this, all movies, tv shows, music etc is based around this premise. Factor in globalization and the Indian elite obsession with copying whatever anglos do and you get a world where people of the higher socio economic strata date and whilst marriages are still mostly arranged, the amount of ones where spouses are chosen on your own have risen.

I also do not trust my parents to select a good wife given that both were raised during times that were very different. They are not aware of things are today in my humble opinion. I may despise my familyy on some days but I love them more than anything else in the world, I still do not think that they would do a good job.

Also my issues are me being low value in a ghost town in his early 20s. My girl issues are just a symptom of that, bump up my value and city and these problems will just disappear.

Ok. I’ve worked with Indians in IT over here, some of whom had arranged marriages. their parents set them up on dates but didn’t force the marriage. That worked.

It will not now given that seuxal revolution is a thing in urban India, at least in the higher ends.

I really do not want to beta buxx some girl who had her share of lovers and had to settle down because she became too old, this is the thing that many I know kinda put up with so I will most likely find a girl for myself.

The one about step parents being 40 times more likely to abuse kids than biological parents.

[here], caveat here

thanks.

The one about step parents being 40 times more likely to abuse kids than biological parents.

That just feels intuitively off to me. I'd want to check if it's adjusted for "step parents are scrutinized more closely so more abuse is documented".

I don't think it's healthy to have the family structure found in the west, period.

Marriage is a sacred bond.

Why is it intuitively off to you? It's the opposite for me -- we see numerous cases in nature of males killing off a rival male's offspring to secure their own genetic legacy, and I would expect people to innately have a much higher level of sympathy for their blood. Of course step parents are significantly more likely to abuse kids -- they're not their kids.

Hm. Might be better to split this into two categories - "step parents" and "adoptive parents". When I think of a step parent in the singular - some new partner of the biological parent who didn't specifically want to adopt a kid - I find it more plausible. "Evil stepmother" and "abusive stepfather" are popular tropes.

I heard recently (I forget from where) that the Wicked Stepmother trope was invented well after the fairytales we associate it with became popular, and the original versions had the bio mothers being villainous. IIRC, it had to do with the change in inheritance traditions from Medieval Europe to Renaissance/early modern dramatically altering the incentives.

Yeah, I'm talking about new partners of biological parents. I don't know how adopted parents are. I would suspect less likely to abuse due to selection effects, but I don't actually know how (dys)functional the American adoption system is.

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