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Went to a nightclub today for the first time in a while. It went exactly how it's always gone: I hated it.
It's kind of amazing how much I hate it, really. The loud music, the lasers, the huge crowd, the stupid pop music that everyone else seems to know but I don't, the pressure to "dance," the complete lack of privacy, the fight to get a drink at the bar, the lines for the bathrooms. It's like hell for me.
And yet I keep coming back. I still have this fantasy that I can somehow stop being a shy, introverted nerd and turn into a cool guy who dances with babes at the club. Is that possible? Has anyone actually done that? I don't even care about getting laid (sorta) I just want to be happier and more "in the moment" instead of wasting my life thinking about weird abstract thoughts.
Yes, I have done exactly this. I did it through the use of psychoactive substances, mainly Phenibut combined with extended-release caffeine. For me Phenibut increases social confidence, reduces self-doubt, reduces self-censorship, makes music sound amazing, and makes me want to socialize. It is like alcohol without the impairment. This was back when you could buy Phenibut from reputable nootropics vendors, but that is no longer the case as of 2023. Also, Phenibut can be addictive if used more than once a week and it is dangerous to combine it with alcohol/benzos/opiods/CNS depressants.
I found it fun just getting the attention of hot women even though I have a low sex drive and I wasn’t trying to get laid. I became way more interested in figuring out why what I was doing worked, how to optimize it, and the limitations of it. I started reading about psychology, cog sci, pharmacodynamics, etc.
The simple lesson is that I had a part of me that was shutting down a different part of me that wanted to connect with people. In Internal Family Systems language I had a manager that was shutting down the exile that wanted to be playful/fun because the manager thought I should always act logically/rationally and the exile’s plans were dangerous and stupid.
Furthermore, becoming the cool guy has pros and cons:
Pros:
Cons
This will probably work better for you if go to EDM clubs or festivals. You want to go where there are people that use MDMA or other drugs that increase openness and friendliness to strangers.
In conclusion, you can use drugs to change the activities you enjoy and to make it easier to connect with strangers. However, I would advise you to think long and hard about how that will impact you if you succeed because it probably won’t be as rewarding as you expect.
interesting... very interesting. I will have to try that, because I do kinda feel like it's practically a medical condition for me. It's not going to be fixed by something like "just be confident bro." The only thing that sorta works is to slam massive amounts of alcohol, but like you said that comes with drawbacks.
I wonder where i can get it.. one of those online Indian pharmacy sites maybe? I've had good luck getting prescription drugs from them. edit: What do you think of this site? https://rupharma.com/phenibut/
I would also like to try MDMA but have no idea where to get it.
I have no personal experience buying from the current sellers. It is still legally available as a research chemical in the US. The main issue is trusting that the supplier has sufficient quality control. Places that sell it are science.bio, Trafa Pharmaceutical, and edengrows.
You might be able to get an off label prescription from a doctor to pregabalin which might have similar effects. However, I don't have personal experience with anything similar to Phenibut, and they can often vary in effects significantly even though they are structurally similar. See: https://slatestarcodex.com/2019/07/18/know-your-gabapentinoids/
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If you hate the music, crowd and dancing then this seems like a doomed project. It's one thing if you actually like dancing but are too shy to engage but if you dislike the core activity then this seems like a bad idea.
Surely there are other things for you to do?
Secondly, you don't mentioning going with with friends... Did you go alone? That seems like a really bad idea, for a ton of reasons, and I understand if you were miserable if you did. Step one for enjoying to go to the club should be going there and enjoying dancing with your friends.
Yeah the friends thing is probably a big part of it. I go alone, because I have no friends to go with. My "friends" are pretty much just online at this point. Either they live too far away, or they're too busy, or they have to wake up early tomorrow, or they've already been there and decided it sucked, or... yada yada yada. Finding friends to actually do stuff with me IRL is like pulling teeth. So I go places alone, hoping to meet people that way, but they're all locked into their friend circle, warning each other about "stranger danger" from weirdo loners like me.
Do some activity that requires interacting with other random people if you want to meet new people.
Attend a class, join book club/amateur sports team/an orchestra/a choir/etc or volunteer.
People go in to these activities primed to interact with strangers (as opposed to the opposite in something like a club) which makes it a million times easier to establish new friendships.
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