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Wellness Wednesday for March 13, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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There are a lot of people that haven't experienced the online dating market recently and don't understand the bad behaviour from all corners. People seem to be aware of what guys are doing (because it's socially acceptable to signal boost that type of behaviour), but there isn't an understanding of how that behaviour evolved, and how some women are quite happy to match with 50+ men and try to connect with the most attractive one even though they have no way of ever giving any of those men the attention required to develop something meaningful. Even girls new to the platform will match with many well meaning, reasonably attractive and social men, only to dump them (flake/ghost) once a handsome lothario enters their queue.

Everyone needs to stay away from apps unless they are in the top 10-20% of physical attractiveness. Even then...