The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
When I was younger I had a low opinion of my appearance. But then as I got older and looked back at my younger photos I realized I actually looked good (not great but much better than I had thought). The thinking then became if my earlier opinion was wrong then my current self- opinion of my appearance could also be wrong. People much uglier and less fit than me had much higher self-esteem; and I truly think anyone working toward self-improvement is eminently positive.
Right now is the youngest you'll ever be from this point forward. As I've gotten older and advanced more in my career I've cared less what other people think and gained much more self-confidence, part of that is having the self-confidence to go out to events alone (art galleries, concerts etc.), and recognizing that I want to be around people even though I don't want to necessarily befriend them.
I sometimes also view other with their own families or in relationships and can feel quite low when I feel that avenue is inaccessible to me; what has helped me is to 'accept the things I cannot change' and also to support those friends and family who have their own families.
Accepting the things you cannot change is fine within certain limits. But in my case it feels like learned helplessness. Resigning myself to not getting anything I want just turned into an excuse not to try.
I do have low self esteem. I rationally understand that it's not rational. Other people compliment me on the way I look, particularly for my age. But I still find it difficult to internalize.
The full phrase is to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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