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Then you doom us to antagonism. Every division of spoils cannot be neutral, it is an assault against you by the other group who could give you just a little more.
You may say there is some fair division, but you literally just argued that you can't trust any such argument.
Seems like a non sequitur?
Not that I think this is the strongest form of the argument, but... One side points at specific statistical material gaps between two groups and says 'the gap is evidence that there's some form of discrimination or inequality at play somewhere, we should have policies to try to eliminate the gap.' The other side says 'One group is naturally inclined to outperform the other on whatever metric there's currently a gap in, so those gaps are natural and unavoidable and we shouldn't try to close them.'
To me, it seems like that second position is the one that can justify literally any size of gap, since there's no comprehensive a priori model of how big the performance difference is, or how big of a gap that should translate to (comprehensive and a priori being relevant word here).
Whereas the first side at least has a natural stopping point of eliminating the gaps, and would need some kind of major narrative shift to justify going past that.
But you think the opposite is true? I don't understand your reasoning.
Conservatives underrepresented in academia and owners of websites? Oh, it's not our fault conservatives cannot create modern software themselves. Men having higher suicide rates than women, shorter life expectancy and higher chance to be homicide victim? Again, not a problem.
Conservative is a lifestyle choice, not an innate identity. Editors control more newspaper columns than surgeons, that's not a social injustice, that's just people doing their thing.
You don't consider it a real answer, presumably, but progressives/feminists attribute those problems men face to a mixture of toxic masculinity and economic/social problems, and are actively trying to fight those problems on many fronts. Saying that your opponent doesn't adopt your preferred solution to a problem, and your preferred narratives about it, is not the same as them not trying to solve the problem on their own terms.
So... you could choose to become a conservative?
"I could, I just never would" is as good as a "no" btw.
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How can we tell without a few centuries of affirmative action?
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The issue is that there isn't an objective standard of a fair split (this is precisely what you argue).
I don't think you'd think we should make these sorts of policies broadly applicable.
Now let those two groups be defined differently. Urban areas have higher GDP per capita. Should we, to fix this inequity, direct money to even this? There are many other axes you could look at: even if you choose a 50-50 split, always, as the fair option, your selection of what measures to check along itself involves bias.
We know what happens when gaps are eliminated: switch measures until you find one where your favored groups are disadvantaged, or just stop caring.
You see this in education: no one complains that it's unfair that more women go to college than men.
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