The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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If you’re sad for your general misfortune I wholeheartedly agree.
If you think this meaningfully reflects your attractiveness to women (or, alternatively, the attractiveness of your profile to women), then I disagree.
I don’t the girls thinking “he’s attractive enough to message and give my number too, but I’m not going to go on a date him” is really a thing.
For reference I’ve gone from a bad profile (iirc 1-2 matches a week? to a decent one (maybe a dozen?), so I feel like I have a decent amount of experience on both sides.
IMO if a girl is flaking I think by far the mostly likely reason is she isn’t on the app to find dates.
So no one is on the app to find dates, then? I don't think you comprehend the level of flaking I've experienced.
Back when I used Tinder in the Midwest probably half of profiles had a Snapchat or Instagram link in their profile. If you’re in a big city I’d guess it’s higher than that (if you’re trying to be an influencer or sex worker you’d presumably target bigger cities, even if you didn’t actually live there).
Alternatively maybe you’re trying an approach women don’t like — trying to be too sexually overt, not showing commitment by using short messages, etc.
But I maintain that, since I didn’t have this issue with a bad profile or with a good profile, I don’t think this says much about how attractive women find you.
No, I am not sexually suggestive, and no I do not write short messages.
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Yeah I’d say probably 7/8 in 10 women on tinder have no intention of ever meeting someone on the app in real life.
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I'd guess, more realistically, it's that the types of women who primarily use the app for attention have a lower bar in attractiveness for men to whom they respond, compared to the types of women who primarily use the app for actual dates. And you, like many of us, are in that range between the 2 bars. It's not that there's something about you or your behavior that's causing the women to flake, it's that the women who respond to your messages are primarily from the pool the women who know beforehand that they'll almost certainly not actually see you in person.
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