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Notes -
"Don't be an asshole" is a hard rule to complain about, but if using the pronouns that you think are correct for trans people == 'being an asshole', then this amounts to ceding the field, no?
Probably not conducive to truthful discussion either.
And now you seem to be saying that sometimes this would be ok, sometimes 'being an asshole', which in some ways makes it worse -- if it's always or never assholery we could frame our discussion accordingly, but personally I have no idea where that line would be. Either you accept the framework or not.
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