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Yes, but Lenin put this argument much more simply; "кто кого?" or "Who/whom?". My opponents do not get to decide what's a big deal for me.
I disagree. Who/whom is a lens of pure conflict theory + post modernism (there is no objective truth, if the enemy says X, all that means is that they want me to think X is true - it has no meaning divorced from who said it)
The "not a big deal" argument is mistake theory. You talk about "a big deal for me", as though all grievances are subjective, and so all grievances are equally legitimate as I can make a problem "legitimate" by feeling really strongly about it.
In the mistake theory framework, we can objectively measure how bad any particular grievance is (by using a utility function that everyone can agree upon), and then you can argue (irregardless of which "side" you're on) that grievance A, in comparison to B, is not a big deal (not "for me/you/them", but just not a big deal, unqualified)
In each specific case, the leftist argument is that the negative utility represented by the suffering of the marginalised group is so huge, that any minor discomfort experienced by the "privileged" group is trivial in comparison.
And I think the modal leftist sincerely thinks this, and isn't trying to trick you. They believe, even in your shoes, they would espouse the same policies (The anger comes because they think that you simply don't care about trans people's well-being. That as a "transphobe", you know they're suffering but you just don't care)
There is no such utility function. In practice, if you can keep a grievance pusher in the argument long enough (i.e. they don't leave and don't get you removed), they will eventually reach "the harm to you doesn't matter but the harm to those of the grievance class do".
Yes. This is who/whom, nothing more. You can put it in "mistake theory" terms by claiming there is some sincere mistake about measurement of the harm, but that's just window dressing.
Which would match how they treat women who complain that, in fact, they do consider it a big deal. If they're merely mistaken about the relative harms why attempt to destroy anyone attempting to help them update?
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