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Notes -
Whats missing from the story about your grandmother is the key component that everyone knows what she is doing. They know that they are being shamed for being fat, even if she is not voicing shame. And they feel the shame. She doesn't talk about her diet, she simply demonstrates superior behaviors, and the granddaughter knows they are superior and feels shame for not living up to said standards.
Yes, the shame is known ant a societal level and so it doesn’t need to be emphasized by any one person, as that would be unnecessary and rude. Certainly, people can and do say only polite words while their tone and demeanor implies the disdain, but those people would only be worse if they considered it appropriate to simply say their actual thoughts.
The problem with so many activists is they are not simply trying to encourage kinder behavior toward some group, they anre attempting to change what is considered acceptable/desirable/healthy regarding stuff that is straightforwardly bad, like obesity.
The “ableism” stuff regarding say banning any reference to sight/blindness or the fact that there is now the “R slur” are other examples. Obesity is just far more of a problem because it’s an increasing epidemic where choice/behavior is involved.
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