The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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I feel for you buddy.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years for largely the same reasons. My reasons were based more on the physical chemistry between us; I had largely lost physical attraction to her and, really, I wanted to have sex with other women.
This breakup was two years ago, and I still think about her often. Part of the reason is that we still talk from time to time so it hasn't been a complete break in relations. She was and is a wonderful woman and there were many things I admired about her. But I just wasn't sure she was the right one, and, like I said, I really wanted to mess around with other women.
Do I regret breaking up with her? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. When I was in the relationship, I felt largely unfulfilled. I would see a beautiful woman walking by and be filled with negative feelings about my own relationship. It was a major sticking point for me and, honestly, if I'd stuck it out, I would have lived with a lot of regret. At the same time, my ex adored me and treated me incredibly well. I don't think I will find another person who will treat me so well and who's intellect and work ethic I admire so much.
So...give it time. Six years is a long time to be with a person. It's good that you have cut off communication, this should make things heal more quickly. Just make sure you find things to do with your time and minimize time spent by yourself. I've always found alone time is what brings on the thoughts of rumination and regret. It's hard to break up with someone. It's especially hard to break up with someone, not because of anything they've done, but because it just didn't "feel" right or because you wanted to sleep around. Good luck to you.
Well, where is your love life now? How many years has it been?
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