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Culture War Roundup for the week of November 20, 2023

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You mean the "militia groups" created, run, and staffed by undercover FBI as a sting/entrapment/false flag operation (to meet the unrealized demand for a "domestic terror threat" to justify their budgets)? Or the club of a handful of forty-somethings with beer guts and too much tacti-cool gear who shoot guns together some weekends? Because they're all one or the other.

The Bundy's won. The oath keepers have pushed around state governments, and won, semiregularly. Civilian law enforcement regularly claims they couldn't handle these groups when SHTF, and not always in the context of making budget requests. Everything we know about oathkeepers and 3%ers is that it would take calling out the actual army to stop them if they got frisky, and ordinary law enforcement would just give up.

At which ranks, though? I've seen people talk about why coups are usually carried out by colonels, with respect to why it's not anyone of higher rank (namely, generals are political creatures), but there are also reasons why it's not anyone lower in rank.

And who is more important to obey, a distant boss all the way up the chain and hundreds or thousands of miles away… or your immediate superior who is right there face-to-face (with MPs and a sidearm)?

Marine field-grade officers are probably not as red as marine NCO's, but still pretty red. That graph of political contributions by profession showed Marines to be literally one of the reddest jobs in the country, on par with "housewife"(this is probably an effect of conservative couples routing paying bills through the woman). Officers are usually more politically active than enlisted, so we can assume that this points to marine officers(the majority of whom, for mathematical reasons, are company and field grade officers who would be making the actual decisions in this kind of countercoup scenario) being a very red grouping.

But "Team blue's" resources are so much more vast that they might as well be.

The most likely scenario of an actual literal civil war being about to break out is team blue panicking, the red state coalition national guard army(that's what operation Lonestar is) on the Texas-Mexico border being readied for rapid deployment against coup attempts, mass capital flight to Texas and Florida, individual field grade officers picking sides, and the west coast states' hinterlands slipping out of government control(which is already tenuous). If you expect risk averse bureaucrats in NoVa suburbs to call this bluff, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. The simple fact of the matter is that a civil war would be a lot worse for the blues than the reds. If the federal government collapses in infighting Texas and Florida can go "heads I win, tails you lose", California would suddenly have to invade its neighbors while fighting an insurgency against their main recruiting population.

And don't give me "but the two million can make their own laws! we're already a dictatorship!". Laws are words on paper and most of those two million are, like, mailmen. The actual hard power capabilities of the two teams are pretty even, team red can probably replenish a lot better and is 1,000x as geographically cohesive, and besides, how do you expect a straight fight between cops and diversity coordinators to go? "But the girl answering the phones at IRS office #498 is gonna do whatever she can to support the rule of the experts!!!" No she fucking won't, she'll go back to work the second Trump makes an announcement about #resistance striking being an illegal wildcat action, she got bills to pay.

The oath keepers

Fed trap operation. Astroturf false-flag fake opposition.

Marine field-grade officers

If colonels lead coups, then make colonels as political as the generals. Then lieutenant colonels. Grunt trigger-pullers may be Red, but you don't get promoted to field-grade officer rank without being Blue.

The most likely scenario of an actual literal civil war being about to break out

But it won't break out. The military will follow over a century and a half of tradition of non-involvement, and law enforcement will mop up the disorganized civilian resistance. It will be over well before it gets near such a stage.

against coup attempts

Again, not a coup attempt, but our brave civil servants lawfully defending Our Sacred Democracy against a would-be Fascist takeover.

If the federal government collapses in infighting

Except they won't, because my whole point is that they're all on one side, save for a few merely-elected revolving door figureheads so deluded as to think what the civics textbook says about how our government works bears any resemblance to how DC actually works, and thus failing to do their job being the Washington Generals to the left's Globetrotters.

The actual hard power capabilities of the two teams are pretty even

No, they're not. We on the right are utterly, hopelessly outmatched. We lost the fight completely a long time ago. "Team Red" is totally, utterly doomed.