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Bryan Caplan wrote on this subject a while ago. He thinks banning workplace relationships is one of the most repressive anti freedom things we’ve ever done. Most people spend a lot of time at work. I’ll just link to him because he’s smarter than me but I share his opinion.
https://betonit.substack.com/p/love-is-love-workplace-edition
Him being married is bad from a religious/puritanical perspective. But consensual relationships should not be punished.
Also real power is still real power today. Deshaun Watson isn’t replaceable or Elon Musks. Both got paid. But for all us little people don’t put your dick where you work and have good bumble game.
"Boss marries secretary" was a romance novel trope for a reason for a long time. And co-workers who fall in love and get married isn't the problem.
The problem is affairs where one or both parties are married; affairs that break up and then there is bad blood between the parties; as mentioned in another comment, where the romantic partner gets preferential treatment, etc. Look at Willie Brown and Kamala Harris, and the rumours there that she got her start only because she was his girlfriend.
Or cases like the one I heard about from a former job: the guy was married, had an affair with a subordinate, then left the job for a better one elsewhere. He also left the subordinate pregnant with twins, broke up with his wife, but didn't take his mistress with him to his new job and new town. That's a case where if the woman had listened to advice about not shitting where you eat, she would have come out of it better all round - but of course, it's all "but I love him and he loves me", until it ends badly.
(There's also another case, tangentially related to that job, where a person associated with the organisation had an affair and dumped his wife for the new younger squeeze; his ex-wife went ballistic and went to the cops about alleged dodgy financial dealings of his, which eventually saw him serving a jail sentence. Do not fuck around unless you are very, very sure that finding out won't send you to the slammer!)
We don't know the details of this particular case, and they seem to be suspending him for a season, which indicates he can come back to his job after the suspension. But in general, I think workplace romances are way too risky, for both parties - the woman, if the guy is just using her, and the man, if the woman decides after the breakup that she was harassed and coerced into the affair.
I honestly can't agree with Caplan that "don't fuck your subordinates unless you're gonna put a ring on it" is 'one of the most repressive anti-freedom thing we've ever done'. Right now, I do genuinely think that for men in a position of authority, it's protective - and if they still can't keep their trousers buttoned, what happens after that is on their own heads.
The workplace does not really seem to be relevant here. The main problem seems to be that a woman had an affair with an untrustworthy man who left her while she was pregnant and moved to another town. If the woman had changed to another job during the affair so as not to "shit where she eats", would the man have suddenly turned out to be more trustworthy and not leave her behind like that?
Compare to a made up example of a guy who one day went to his job at the warehouse where a crate fell on his head and he died. If he had followed the advice "never use public transport" he would not have been able to go to his job and would still be alive. Technically it is true, but it doesn't really demonstrate that the advice "never use public transport" is good.
I'm not sure if this example is also meant to illustrate how workplace romances are bad, because it is not clear if the new girlfriend was working at the same organization, but here too the workplace itself does not seem to be relevant in any way. The problem seems to be that the guy did something illegal which the wife knew about, and when he angered her she told the police about it. Would the wife have been less angry if the new girlfriend had not been a colleague, and thus he had not "shat where he eats"?
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But the reason why it's so dangerous is because of the social/political pressure we've put on it. You've pointed out some egregious examples of work relationships but then you also have the McDonald's CEO. Is meeting someone on Bumble really preferable to seeing someone in their element for 40 hours a week?
Don't get me wrong - I think that treading carefully is super important with work relationships. But it's insane to me that we're forced dating through a phone-app pinhole and think that this was some sort of upgrade. I got out of the game before the App "revolution" and I'm overall very glad I did.
It generally makes it difficult lines to tread. I'm in a management position, and feel like I can be a lot more hands-on and mentoring with my male graduates/juniors than I can with females. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, but even a small % chance of it being a career/financial/reputational landmine means I've gotta be cautious.
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Workplace relationships only became a 'thing' due to the rise of white collar work. Otherwise, jobs tend to be segregated a lot by gender. The service sector does have more mixing but I think the employees tend to be more diverse by age , class, or other factors that make relationships uncommon. At Walmart, for example, low-skilled workers tend to span the spectrum of being young (teenager summer jobs) to old (retirees supplementing social security or for the health benefits), etc. whereas office workers at a major companies will tend to cluster around 25-45 years of age and matriculate from a similar top-50 network of schools or like neighborhoods.
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Well, that's a relief: I am a truly great bumbler.
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