The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Notes -
I broadly agree, but I think "if she's still a feminist, you're not the guy" is too strong. My wife had a long enough history of outspoken feminism when I met her that it would have been ridiculous for her to pretend not to be one. But I also never pretended to agree with something I didn't. It worked out fine and she eventually became a stay-at-home-mom.
Most political convos start with her thoughtlessly repeating some slogan, and if I can't reframe the convo immediately, usually instead of saying she's wrong or being dismissive, I ask what it means concretely, as Gaashk suggested above. This usually makes her mildly upset and embarrassed when she notices she hasn't thought about it much at all, and so she's learned to not to do that as much. But in terms of day-to-day life or child-rearing decisions, even though politically we're worlds apart, we usually almost entirely agree on the concrete steps to be taken.
On the few times when something completely beyond the pale (from her point of view) has come up ("you really believe ___!?"), I tell her she needs to talk to me respectfully even if she disagrees, as I am doing to her, even though from my point of view, she's equally misled.
I used to have a trad girlfriend who said something like "if a man is taking a love interest's political opinions seriously in the first place, he's doing it wrong."
In my mind the phrase applies purely to the man himself, not to politics or the world at large. Tbh I'm suspicious of intelligent anti feminist women in the same way I'm suspicious of feminist men, they either lack self respect or they're trying to sell me something.
But if a woman is a feminist TO YOU, in the sense of treating you poorly because of your beliefs or making a big todo about things in your relationship, you're not the guy.
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