The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I'm curious if she was actually a good friend of yours, or if the sexual tension had you more interested in her. Imagine her as a guy friend, and if you still feel it was a good friendship then maybe try to salvage it.
When I started realizing in college that many girls made for terrible friends I saved myself a lot of headaches. When I met my the woman that is now my wife, I had a mistaken impression that she was already married/taken. She was fun and interesting though and I continued to hangout with her in the same way I'd want to continue hanging out with a guy that is fun and interesting.
I also had a friend in college that I really liked talking and hanging out with. I asked her in kinda the same way you did, but in person. She said she just wanted to stay friends and not be anything more. We never talked again. It was a bummer, but it only had me feeling down for a few days.
Sexual attraction is kinda weird. I'm not entirely sure how it works for women or for men. There are some people that seem to figure out their own version of sexual magnetism. As a guy you need to work yours out. And be careful not to go after the super magnets among the women. There are some women that seem to attract a disproportionate amount of men. My sister is one of these women, she was never single for more than a month since 6th grade. It was mainly a defense mechanism for her, she just got constantly hit on by guys around her if she was single.
Find a girl the other guys don't notice. Friends of the magnet girls are a good pick. Then find your own sexual magnetism and see if some attraction occurs.
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