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It's cringe. I'd be leaving her on read after that first response. I wouldn't be enjoying this "playful banter" and it would be a pressure for me to reply.
I mean that's kind of my point. In text form this exchange can be read many different ways by different people.
If you imagine it as a verbal conversation where both parties statements are dripping with playful sarcasm, then it's clear they're flirting. If you imagine it as a verbal conversation where both parties are being dead serious, then they're both being pieces of shit to each other. It's impossible to create a neutral set of rules to decide which is which, especially when it's happening via text.
Yep. And you can also have WILDLY different cultural norms. I knew a West Virginia redneck whose mom was fat and liked it cold. Redneck preferred it warm. He'd tell his mom 'come on ya walrus it's fucking cold in here'.
He and his mom got along well. Mom's a nurse, he made good and went to Harvard.
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You get it. And the guys who have left her on read without responding have, perhaps, saved their own pride, but have also failed the shit test as much as the guys who become bruised and immediately apologize and make a list of other possible fun date ideas. Or worse: Ask her what fun thing she wants to do.
I think considering the woman's perspective is instructive, and as much as straight women generally don't understand what courtship (that's my chosen word, feel free to substitute your own) is like for straight men, men as well I think can't get their head around what it must be like for women. Namely to inhabit a world where one has a) readily available sex basically whenever one wants it, though not without possibly considerable social, emotional, and yes, possibly physical cost 2) a body that can get pregnant due to said sex, pregnancy of course being much different than the flu, or other physical ailment and d) the knowledge that, after the sex and depending upon how early it has been had, how much the man has had to invest to get it (because women are the figurative seller here), and how satisfying it was-- the man may very likely lose any long-term interest, starting you again jarringly quickly back at the beginning with a new prince charmless.
What must it be like for a girl to be treated as if she is in possession of a prize worth all of Africa's ivory and Asia's gold, then, when the post-coital tissue comes out, realize she isn't? The feeling of having been conned must be substantial.
Of course often some spark is kindled, the guy is too busy counting his lucky stars to show or feel disinterest, and a relationship may blossom into something long-lasting, if not quite the place that was promised. Or perhaps something something true love, if saying this unironically will not get me Motte-banned.
The dating dance, once I learned it (far later than would have really benefited me but not so late as to not benefit me at all) I always found exhilarating. Which is not to say I was some sort of record holder. I wasn't and am not. Having written that I also fully understand the frustrations involved, particularly when obsessiveness masquerading as love enters the fray.
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