Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
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Last night I got into bed and my mind was highjacked by a useless idea. The image of well-worn sneakers I had as a kid came into my mind, and I thought about waking up in the past and couldn't stop wondering about this well-trod trope. Wouldn't it be great to meet my wife in 1999 and spend our teenage years fucking like rabbits? Or to nudge the politics in the right direction during the pivotal moments? Or to actually emigrate when the rouble was at its strongest?
Then some of the less fun things came into my mind. My wife's father died in the early 00's, before we met. If I somehow woke up in the past before that date, what would I do? If I met her family right away, sooner or later it would become obvious that I was from the future. Would I tell them about the death? Not telling them would be cruel, they'd never stop wondering if knowing about it could've helped. Telling them would be equally cruel, especially if it turned out nothing could've prevented the stroke. I don't know how doctors do this, but at least they aren't trying to get into their patient's daughter's pants, at least not every time.
Did you know how reliant we've become on this medium? The internet, I mean. I tried to recall some of the important dates from this century and I couldn't half of them. I'm definitely worse at math than the high school me and I doubt my youtubified attention span would let me get through Skanavi part C with similar ease even if I took my time to refresh my skills.
A more metaphysical question is what would happen to this timeline. I'm not solipsistic enough to imagine it simply being erased. Would teenage me wake up in my body here? Now that would be a nightmare. Or would he, I, simply be erased? Then I wouldn't want my wife to be left alone with a child because I decided to leave her for a teenager, even if that teenager was her. Or would the whole thing be a copy of the past universe modulo me plus a copy of me from the present?
Most importantly, why couldn't this have happened on a Saturday night so I could've slept in instead of waking up at nine after trying to banish a mind worm for the first third of the night?
This one in particular speaks to me. I'm so extremely happy with my wife, we are perfectly matched, but she also got me at the perfect moment. If she had met me two years earlier, I would have been way too big a loser, totally incapable of attracting a decent woman. If we had met three years later, who knows what would have happened in the meantime, I don't know that three years as a whoremonger would have been good for my personality, or I might have wound up with the wrong person because I was just too much of a puppy dog at the time.
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What’s stopping you from doing that now?
Because this is all imaginary, it could be anything you want it to be. Maybe you could transport between the two and leave being P-zombies when not in use.
Work, housework, childcare. Hmm, might be a good idea to take a small couple's vacation to an otherwise boring place.
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Well they're not teenagers now.
That shouldn’t stop anyone! Hit the gym.
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