The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Perhaps therapy for her? Especially if she is spending for social reasons to fit in.
Does she have a specific category where she spends the most? Eating out? Fancy clothes? Etc? Possibly find a way to cut down on specific categories of spending, by not being a miser in the category and spending to be a little fancier, but avoiding the most expensive options. For example rent the runway for clothes, or blue apron for fancier meals. Both are more expensive than the miserly options, but both are cheaper than careless spending.
I probably spend 500-1k a month. My wife probably spends 1k a month. But she also tends to buy all the kids stuff. Our dual incomes are higher than yours so that is still a net positive income. Would it be possible for y'all to earn more money while keeping the spending stable?
Depending on which category of spending your wife is engaged in having kids might actually lower her spending. If it's going out ... She won't be able to for a while. If it's shopping ... Then it might get worse.
She is in therapy. Not specifially about that, but she talks about this too.
It's mostly online shopping, so clothes and handbags. Makeup and getting nails and hair done as well. Coffee and going out with friends.
We've both received small pay increases recently. I've been keeping my eyes out for new jobs, but I'm not finding anything that pays more so far.
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