Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
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Notes -
Congrats! It’s really fun, you’ll probably have a blast.
You’re about to lose a lot of your personal time, especially if you have two. The excitement and lack of sleep will keep it from hurting much for the first few months, but after that you’ll be like, alright, I’m ready to read/videogame/code/do whatever, and the kids keep taking my time. Just keep in mind this is a relatively short time in your life. When your kids turn 5-6 they’ll start school and have their own lives, and you won’t see them quite as much. By the time your children are 12, you’ll have spent 75% of all the time you’ll ever spend with them.
I’d nudge you to have more kids than you’re thinking. There’s a book about this, but the argument roughly goes: Most people optimize for the amount of kids they want to have when the kids are young. But that time doesn’t last very long, relatively. Optimize for some mixture including how many kids you want to have when the kids are 10 / 15 / 20 / 25.
Your own emotional control will likely be a major factor in your ability to be a good parent. Parenting is frustrating and sad and scary and all that. But the kids need you to be reliable, and able to handle the tiny disasters they’re throwing at you. If you can be a rock under pressure with kids screaming at you, you’ll make a better parent.
Also, for whatever reason, being outside is magical for young kids. I can have them inside with a million toys, and they’ll be bored, but outside in a plain yard with an old soccer ball, and they’re happy for hours. Other families have concurred. shrug
I am 95% confident that in 30 years I'll be happy I had as many healthy kids as possible. The issue is that we are in our mid 30's so time is on on our side. My brother in law wanted 6 then his second wrecked him and my sister (who is tough) so I'm 70% confident that I could push through 4 which I think is the max we could safely push to at our ages and handle the miseries that will come with having 3-4 young kids. I think it will mostly be on my wife. I'll need to take on a lot of responsibility and cut back on my frugal desires to keep her on board. I think I'd rather have more kids then a few extra hundred grand at retirement.
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