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Wellness Wednesday for June 28, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I,too, am often serious, and for whatever reason appear to have a permanent scowl across my eyebrows where I apparently look angry all the time. This is not me being selfconscious; i've literally been told this more than once by people as varied as literal strangers all the way to my wife, recently, after more than a decade of marriage. And like you, I benefit from a buzz. I lighten up. I am probably more fun to be around, at least until I'm not.

But I am not always serious. I have moods where I am relaxed, and without any booze. Are you of one consistent mood all the time without your concoction?

Regarding your metaphor, I once knew a guy who forced himself to become literate in SEC football just to be able to converse casually with other males--it's almost like a secret handshake among men in certain areas of the South. And he did this with some success, to the point that eventually he married a woman who was an extreme football fan, and when my friend died his after-funeral wake was festooned with the colors and logos of the local college team. Be careful what tools you use to become social, I guess. Or maybe there's no lesson there. I myself never learned to bullshit about football, but I admittedly escaped 10,000 miles to another country.

Are you of one consistent mood all the time without your concoction?

Yes, I'd describe it as a stoic mood. If it is nice outside I'll think the weather is pleasant, but it doesn't cause me to smile. I don't get mad at people when they do dumb things, I just think that it is interesting or useful information about the world.

Even when I'm in social situations I usually just think about how I can quickly and politely end the conversation so I can go do something else. If I were to be in a social situation with a large group that I couldn't leave then my mood would be much more anxious. That is one of the only times my mood changes much when sober.