Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
This is the way.
@SkookumTree, stop agonizing over whether or not you are worthy and focus on being worthy. The rest will sort itself out as a result.
1.) Become worthy
2.) Accept (P) ower / ussy
Simple & difficult, and the only way forward.
Yeah. I might have known maybe three people that are or were up to that standard. Very strong-willed, hardworking, principled people. Two of them fought life-and-death battles for what they believed in, one in combat. 99 percent of people are totally unworthy of someone willingly enduring a deep, biologically-rooted disgust in order to make them happy, or to benefit them. Is there anyone in your life for whom you would willingly enter a relationship with someone who you are not attracted to and who you are deeply disgusted by, and remain faithful to them for life? Is there anyone who you think is in any way deserving of this form of sacrifice?
Brother, have you never met an ugly and/or fat dude who can talk to women because they are funny or charming or rich or smart or have a huge dick or usually some combination of the above?
I’ll add my voice to the chorus and say it’s extremely unlikely your case is as extreme and dramatic as you’re making it out to be, and that extreme self disgust you project is probably doing most of the damage.
It really seems like a self fulfilling prophecy with you.
Once. He is, I shit you not, a neurosurgery resident with enough charisma for a career in politics. He is also 5'4". The other short guys... okay, they're dating morbidly obese women that still have jobs and aren't crackheads, or they're single. About half and half. Fat guys: if they're both funny and taller than average. Or if they met their girlfriends in high school. Same for ugly guys.
As far as autism: hmm. Two I know. One was a military officer from a poor background, the other was a software engineer who supported his non-working girlfriend. She was nice enough, although she had antisocial personality disorder and found autists easier to model. Not exactly applicable here.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Become worthy of the kind of sacrifice that someone would have to make to be with me: become worthy of having someone willingly endure disgust simply to make me happy. I know maybe one or two people who might meet that standard, if anyone does.
Cultivate the virtues necessary to be a good partner, father, husband, nurse, and caretaker. Be the guy who’s got enough slack to live a decent life…and absorb a six hundred pound woman, or deal with a heroin addict, and still be a good community member, friend, and person.
This actually makes a lot of sense. That sounds like ‘be a fit, charismatic, fashionable guy who is extremely hardworking, very diligent, altruistic, prosocial, caring, has a very high tolerance for both frustration and pain, and is well-connected especially with healthcare providers, mental health resources, and local law enforcement’. Those traits would have made the lives of some of my friends a little better. More resources, a little less resentment at their mothers’ failings. Some of them weren’t all that harmful, on the order of What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Others were ‘attempted murder’ or ‘failure to provide basic medical care in early adolescence, leading to minor but lifelong problems’. It’s essentially figuring out how to stand between your children and tragedy, because the ambulances are coming and your goal, your fucking job, is to keep them away from your kids as much as is realistic, and when you can’t, provide them with a good role model and good coping skills and resources to deal with it.
Thank you.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link