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Not advice but for me personally my mental state and happiness improved remarkably when I fully accepted and acknowledged that I had a good alternative to the current broken Western dating system, namely that whenever I feel ready I can just ask my parents to find me a good girl from my culture and within 12 months I will be married to someone who shares my values and belief system, comes from a similar social class as me and is likely to make an excellent long term companion. I understand that this option might not be available to you, but know that there definitely exist good alternatives to the current situation in the West.
For a while (back when I was foolish and supported western modernity) I was quite opposed to the way we do things back home, believing all the standard arguments westerners are quick to trot out against arranged marriages. I wanted to stick it to my parents by showing them that their system was out of fashion and unnecessary and I could do equally well without them.
Looking back, my foray into the western dating system was empirically not good for my mental health and I've been much much happier since I internalized that I have an escape valve, ready to use whenever I wish and that I shouldn't give a shit about western behaviour in this realm beyond it's popcorn value, much like how I don't give a shit about Luba hunting practices because they don't affect my life in any way, shape or form.
My position on the issue has completely shifted: from thinking that arranged marriages are one of the worst aspect of our culture to believing that it is probably one of the best ones.
It appears that you've never actually used this "escape valve". If that's the case, how do you judge its value?
What if your parents do a bad job of choosing a partner? (I certainly wouldn't trust my parents to choose a partner for me.)
Obviously the Western world is flawed, but I don't think arranged marriages would be an improvement.
I've never had to use the reserve parachute when going skydiving (it's a secondary parachute in case the primary one fails). I can still value it very highly.
Sucks for you then, besides you can always say no to their choices and find someone you like as long as you can convince your parents to give their blessings to the marriage. Arranged marriages are an extra option open to you (that's generally a good idea), not something forced upon you. If all else fails you can just say you are marrying person X and tell your parents to pound sand (as you are an adult etc.) and they can't do shit about it beyond cutting off contact from you, it's not a particularly good idea, but very possible.
Generally in a functioning societal system parents want their children to do well and in an arranged marriage system finding their children partners is a parental duty, so there are support systems not present in western societies that make finding a suitable partner for your children a lot easier.
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Yeah, arranged marriage can be good. Forced marriage is fucked up. Maybe you can bite the bullet that it's necessary to keep society stable in Afghanistan or some shit, but it's a hell of a bullet to bite.
Fortunately forced marriages are extremely extremely rare these days outside of rural uneducated shitholes where the literacy rate is <20%.
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