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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   31336 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of May 15, 2023

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I find it extremely grating because, especially if you're another women, you have to accept it as a timeout since continuing with a (fair) argument or complaint if the other woman is streaming crocodile tears is considered rude and unacceptable.

Why 'especially if you're another woman'? At least you can cry back as a woman. Women’s childish behaviour is socially sanctioned, they are empowered to switch at will between being considered a child or an adult. And if you point this out or talk like you did, as a man, then it’s sexism. For carrying the burden of being the only sane adult in the room, men are called 'emotional cripples' .

A man can simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away (doing this as a woman is socially impossible)

This would incur pretty serious social sanction in my *own social environment.

but the reality is that the women I'm talking about deploy tears much less frequently on men than women

This I can believe, for a multitude of reasons, though I myself don’t have a good gauge of how much women cry towards each sex.

Edit:a word

A man can simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away

That’s not going to go over well, plus you cede the field and adopt her frame (just like “I’m so sorry you feel that way, there, there”). She should be the one apologizing "I’m sorry I’m upset. I’ll be in my room.”

I think it can go over quite well, but you have to own it completely. I've told crying women "I'm sorry you're upset, should we continue this conversation later?" to which they responded by turning off the waterworks or by doubling down and lashing out ("How can you be so insensitive about X!?"). The key in the latter case is to maintain frame and not be provoked, but instead simply make a mildly concerned, sympathetic expression as you allow her rage to pass over and through you. If she tries to drag you in by demanding a response, just calmly repeat the question.

I've never suffered any lasting social damage from this approach, but you really have to be rock solid in your frame.

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