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Because a lot of people here have spent a fair number of comments accusing people who use the term "groomer" of playing deceptive word games, of using the term to insinuate a false picture that can't be supported by facts, and now someone is arguing in a top-level comment that this exact strategy is totally acceptable when Progressives do it. I'm highlighting the fact that these two viewpoints are contradictory.
Blues objecting to the term "groomer" have insisted (incorrectly, in my view) that "groomer" exclusively refers to preparing a child for pedophilic rape, so applying it in the way you're saying is uncharitable and waging the culture war, in exactly the way OP refuses to recognize for "transphobia".
Being one who made that argument, that wasn't what i said. Groomer does have other connotations but how you frame it is part of which connotation you are trying to communicate.
If groomer as its use is intended by people "attacking" trans ideology had positive or neutral valence then it wouldn't be an attack. So it wouldn't be a problem. Their communicative intention HAS to have specific negative valence otherwise they are not actually criticising trans ideology. As they tell us they are (and we should believe them!) then we can infer their intended meaning, ie, the negative usage of grooming.
If they said "that groomed teen sure looks shiny and new and resplendent while transitioning" then they might be refering to grooming in the looks sense. But thats a positive not a negative!
If they don't mean that grooming is bad then why use it as part of an attack?
That grooming can be (and often is!) used in positive ways doesn't mean people complaining about kids being groomed into becoming trans mean it positively. Because if they did then they aren't complaining, they are being supportive. Which does not appear to be the case i assume you agree?
If you are telling me they mean in the positive sense of grooming your sucessor, or grooming a horses mane, or grooming yourself to look better, then are you saying conservatives are pro-trans?
Can’t it be both?
“Groomer” is an insult and an attack. Both sides know this. It would be foolish to deny it.
BUT I think it’s also an apt description of a certain pattern of behavior that Very Online trans people engage in. Kid joins a discord, says he’s having trouble fitting in with the other guys at school and he doesn’t feel “manly” enough, people start telling him “hey why don’t you use she/her pronouns for a while and see how it goes, oh by the way there’s a guide for DIY HRT pinned in the #resources channel”… I think it’s accurate to refer to this as “grooming”.
It’s kind of like how “stupid” can be both insulting and true.
Call it "proselytizing".
You know perfectly well that "grooming" as an insult typically means something like "mentally conditioning a vulnerable victim to agree to a sexual relationship with the perpetrator". By talking about "grooming", you implicitly bring up this sexual aspect of the conditioning. Do trans activists want to have sex with trans children?
If you mean "mentally conditioning a vulnerable victim to adopt the same belief as the perpetrator" instead, that's what churches do. Physical harm? Circumcision and Hussainia qualify. Targeting minors? Actually banned in Israel. Negative connotations? Everyone dislikes JWs going "Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior?"
I would once again like to remind people that at the height of metoo it was not uncommon to use "grooming" to describe consensual relations between adults, and that progressive literature used a broader definition of the word until the it was used against them, for example:
"Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior. Grooming is a insidious predatory tactic, utilized by abusers. Grooming is practiced by Narcissists, Antisocial predators, con-artists and sexual aggressors, who target and manipulate vulnerable people for exploitation."
"In this phase, the predator will start to use the target to meet their needs. With children, this is generally sexual in nature, but predators will use victims for money, to accomplish morally questionable things for them, or even just to fill an emotional need."
"While grooming is often associated with sexual abuse, it can be as simple as filling an emotional need. For example, a boss grooming a direct report to fill a narcissistic need for superiority. When a target fights back, or confronts their offender about what is taking place, the groomer will use gaslighting tactics to keep them within their control."
Converting other people's kids behind their parents back is a big nono, and would at the very least get you labelled a cult, and no one would balk at "groomer" either, but that's not what most churches do.
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I completely agree! Trans ideology is a type of religion, and what they do is a type of proselytizing.
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Sure. And the argument, from you and others, is that the only specific negative valence attached to "grooming" is from pedophilia, correct?
Nope. But when used in reference to kids with the rhetoric being used then its intent is clear. And this isn't some secret. From Red State talking about a teacher assisting a child socially transition:
“This is the very definition of child predatory sexual grooming. Predators work to gain a victims’ trust by driving a wedge between them and their parents.”
Another article
"They want grooming and pedophilia to be something our society embraces.…"
And another:
"Yet you have people on the left side of the aisle who seem to have issues when Americans call out pedophiles or groomers. …"
They aren't talking about being groomed into a cult or a terrorist group. The language is very specific. Wedding together the concepts of grooming and pedophilia so the connotation is clear, when it is used on its own.
I also want to point out, this is a smart and useful thing to do. Its good strategy. Out in the world its exactly the type of rhetoric I would have suggested back in my days of political consultancy. From a pragmatic point of view the right should hit this hard. It's effective.
But here i think we should at least admit when our side uses things as a weapon. Doesn't mean we have to put the weapon down! But we try to discuss, not wage the culture war.
And just to be clear this is not a right only issue. Nazi is a weapon wielded by the left for people who are kind of on the right and "therefore" a Nazi. Its a rhetorical weapon. Fascist, similarly. Trump is not a Nazi or a fascist. He's not an existential threat. Those are weapons used against him. And..some people actually believe it. Just as some people on "your" side probably do believe its pedophilic grooming. But its still a weapon. And both can have collateral damage.
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