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Culture War Roundup for the week of February 27, 2023

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I’ll just throw my hat into the ring here and say I’m surprised that more sex-starved white guys aren’t looking overseas for partners, especially to East/Southeast Asia. Quite beyond sexual reasons (Asian women tend to be considered highly attractive by westerners as judged by eg response rate on dating sites) and cultural reasons (Asian cultures tend to be more family-oriented, with loyalty especially being highly prized), there’s simple market dynamics — a white guy in Vietnam or the Philippines or even Hong Kong has massively inflated Sexual Market Value

That's presumably why it's been tabooed. Any man who would say "Oh, I went to Asia to find a wife cause it wasn't working here" is...not going to be seen in a good light.

90 Day Fiance can't have helped, since it reveals some absolutely awful situations and power dynamics (as is expected for reality TV, but there is a basic point there).

Putting aside expense, wireheading and the basic neuroticism and anxiety as formidable deterrents, many or even most people care about how their social circle will react to their wife. That's its own barrier.

The other issue is that a lot of the benefits of 'traditional' women does not rest in one individual woman.

If you're not importing the whole family, your traditional SEA wife is going to have the same or a worse support system than your regular corn-syrup-fed one, so raising children will be tremendously stressful.

The other component of that issue is that the SEA women that choose to leave will be on the less-traditional side of SEA, otherwise they would not leave.

That should still put them on a better footing than the local women, but could also be worse, if they are 100% green card/golddiggers.

Or they have unrealistic expectations of life in the USA (thinking they'll be moving to Miami Beach or the Upper East Side or whatever sitcom/movie fantasy). Or they don't have unrealistic expectations and the USA are just as bad as they had the impression from their traditional village, and they hate being there.

If you're not specifically seeking a traditional woman, but just a woman that is able to stick to a marriage for longer than a local one, then probably some foreign college-educated, traveling-abroad one might be good enough.

The other option is the straight-off-the-boat, 1st generation English-speaker of the family, not completely disgusted by US norms but still retaining traditional upbringing and family nearby. It would take more effort to find and court these.

There's obviously a huge difference between "mail order bride" scenarios vs "I met this amazing Cambodian woman while I was on a surfing holiday and now we're married and she's doing her ADN at SUNY Albany". The latter carries - if anything - positive social weight among the professional managerial class.

I believe 'poor mail order bride' will be conflated with 'professional agentic SE Asian wife' for the same reason that 'possible sex trafficked victim' is conflated with escorts. Its gatekeeping of women's power in controlling men through their sexuality. If men are shamed into not accessing foreign wives then it keeps the value of western women sky high.

Seems to me that the only difference is whether or not you went surfing.