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This topic hit way closer to home than I had anticipated. I have been experiencing my own type of delusional paranoia that is remarkably similar to the topic you explain. I had an acid trip around New Years that turned very bad, and long story short I then became extremely paranoid about my health, and particularly my heart and lungs. I've regularly vaped for more than five years and I became anxious to exercise because i believed that it would inflame my cardiovascular system. It got to the point where I had my first panic attack at 26 years old because of it, ambulance and all. I became convinced that I had some type of congenital defect or some vaccine related myocarditis. I got a full check up, EKG, X-rays, blood tests, you name it. Everything came out fine. 177 cm, 165 Ibs. My doctor told me that my health was immaculate. It was literally all in my head. But it was so real. I literally felt like I was going to collapse and die at any moment, I was convinced of it. I felt every heartbeat, and every bed pain from sleeping wrong was misinterpreted as a coming disaster. It turns out that all it really boiled down to was that I was spending a little too much time by myself in my apartment, and consumed a little too much nicotine and caffeine that elevated my heart rate. It is incredible what your mind can convince itself of in the right circumstances.
I’m going through…almost an identical situation to you. No psychedelics, but similar height, weight, age, and newly developed fear of my heart/lungs giving out. It’s so obviously anxiety—but that doesn’t help in the moment, not when the symptoms of a panic attack include all the vague signs of my vascular system losing it. Lately it’s been a sudden awareness of my heart pounding, especially if I dare try to sleep on my left side, even when I’m at a nice 70 BPM.
SSRIs help, and it’s gotten me to start exercising for the first time since the pandemic. Knowing has helped keep me from throwing myself at the medical system. But it fucking sucks.
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Sorry to hear you've been through that. I've never experienced anything quite so acute, but I've had my fair share of harrowing moments that later turned out to be nothing.
I relate to this so much more than I can express here. I try not to refer to these episodes as "panic attacks" because of the aforementioned issues, but have definitely been there.
It's a type of experience that I think is uniquely difficult to put into words. People who haven't gone through that sort of thing literally just cannot grasp the magnitude of it I find, and I don't blame them. But over time the meaningless platitudes people spout when you open up really drives you to others who understand.
Then of course a whole subculture forms, and the problem reinforces itself. It's a nasty spiral.
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