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Notes -
Not so much a question as just me venting.
A while ago, I made the mistake of poking around the /r/OLD and /r/Tinder subreddits, and noticed a new bit of advice being given to women, (apparently) by other women: don't give out your phone number, use the app instead. Advice from men to men to switch to texting as soon as is reasonable also attracted these replies.
The reason given for this is apparently that "men will try to get you off the app so that they can be abusive or unpleasant to you without you being able to Report them." Stay on the app, where it's Safe, and They can't Hurt you with mean words, which is what they all want to do.
(To my understanding in all online dating: Getting off-app is supposed to be an escalation of intimacy. It's admittedly in the self-interest of men to be in Text notifications rather than lumped in with Tinder notifications; every time she opens tinder to reply to you is a chance for her to notice a message from some other hotter guy. I've also had women provide me their phone number unprompted with some non-reason about notifications not working or hating the lack of threading, but really because they just want the interaction to move forwards faster. I'm pretty sure women use this themselves to sort good suitors from Eh ones).
I think of it every now and then when I mess around with the apps, or when I need to remind myself to stay away from Reddit in general and certain subreddits in particular. It just struck me as perversely obstructive. Why does Reddit have to make everything worse? It's like warning job-seekers that employers offering in-person interviews are a ploy to kidnap you.
Years ago, it felt like there was an ideological arms race in Geek Dating to sabotage men in exciting new ways, by giving them bad advice and warning women away from them. That arms race seems to have continued in my absence. I suppose I'm just still annoyed that I spent my formative years surrounded by this cautiously cringing crap.
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