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Notes -
There's certainly enough variety in Chinese food to accommodate most palates. If you don't like wheat dishes, you can try southern Chinese or Taiwanese food. There is a northeast to southwest gradient in terms of spice level (i.e. with Manchurian and Shanghainese food being the most bland and Sichuan and Cantonese food being more heavily spiced), depending on your preferences. And if you don't like soggy dumplings, try the pan-fried ones.
Cantonese food being more heavily spiced…? I haven’t heard of this before.
On the whole I find that the inner and more northern provinces are more spiced and hearty, while the coastal and southern provinces tend to be more delicate.
I suppose I should have said "more strongly flavored." In the case of Cantonese food this is more from soy sauce, sugar, vinegar, and oyster sauce rather than chilis or powdered spices, and taken to an extreme it becomes Americanized Chinese food. I find Northeastern food to be hearty, but in a meat and cabbage soup with steamed buns sort of way quite similar to Irish or Polish cuisine.
I still think Cantonese is not really that heavily sauced in my opinion compared to the other cuisines of China. Things like steamed fish (which is steamed with only ginger and scallion, then more fresh ginger/scallion sizzled on top with hot oil and soy sauce placed on the side), steamed pork ribs (with douchi), blanched shrimp (literally just shrimp put in boiling water for a minute, no condiments until dippings) and the way Cantonese cuisine often prepares vegetables (blanching then frying with minimal sauce), for example, are really quite “bland”, in that they’re pretty sparing with the sauces and spices.
I do think there are other Chinese cuisines (Zhejiang and Huaiyang come to mind) that are similarly “bland”, but I would put Cantonese pretty up there. That’s not to say the “blander” Chinese cuisines are flavourless and second-rate; Cantonese can be very flavourful, just mostly relying on the flavors of its main ingredients.
Anecdotally, I’ve had more success getting Indian (and occasionally white) people to eat food from the inner provinces than Cantonese food, precisely because it’s more spiced and heavy-tasting.
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My issue is that I actually really like westernized Chinese food. Also I can't make decent egg fried rice at home.
But fried rice and chop suey isn't considered high enough class these days so when I suggest it people insist on going for "real Chinese food".
Based and General Tso's chicken–pilled.
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