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Notes -
What's the point of having secret recipes if you are not cooking commercially? The fact people have secret recipes is mundane but it drives me insane as to why.
On the topic, being a programmer has me spoiled, people just open source hundreds of hours of work without thinking twice. Not all hobby groups are as generous on average. I am aware of certain amateur photographers that go to great lengths to obscure the locations of their shots so that others can't get the same photo... for no money!
I usually give away all my secrets, open-source all my code, share all my recipes, and give away my photography locations. However, I do not share details about excellent deals I find in local shops so that I can go and snag more later. That makes sense doing as there is a tangible resource on the line as opposed to only status.
I'm not going to do that whole dog and pony show. I will spend months recreating the exact recipe and improving on it and then just hit them with the fact that their secret isn't worth much anymore. Winning at parties is better than being fun at parties.
Hmm, yes, I can't figure out why people aren't more willing to divulge their secret recipes to you.
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Seems like you understand the issue. They are trying to gain social status by being good at cooking / photography / etc. Social status in a group is often zero sum.
So if they share their recipes then their sister in law will tweak them and claim them as her own without any acknowledgement.
Programming is different because your success is strongly tied to the group's success.
A lot of software knowledge becomes more valuable if a large group of people know it. Easier to get your team to use it, easier to find a new job with it.
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A person experimenting with recipes might have invested dozens or hundreds of hours in it and wants the prestige.
Alternatively, it might be something like it being the literal recipe on the box or in an ad works and there is modest shame in just using Betty Crocker or whatever (Always loved this on reddit- https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/so19qf/cake_maker_doesnt_make_hers_from_scratch_but_lies/ )
Mostly I think of this as a thing grandmothers do because their own memories of childhood are somewhat faded, but their (reconstructed?) memory of their own grandmother telling them a secret recipe at age 9 is sharp, happy and resulted in bonding moment. It's a nonconsequential responsibility you can give to a child.
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I think it's just trying to maximize the IKEA effect; it doesn't just apply to the work of one's own hands, but the work of one's family as well.
It can also be used to cover up a dish being inferior in taste to the commercial examples ("ugly family heirloom item/furniture" is a meme, though it doesn't seem to be as popular these days).
Of course, my priors when I hear "Grandma's secret recipe" are "cheapest possible substitution of any ingredient that would have made the dish taste good + it's going to make the entire house smell horrible + you're expected to choke that down because it's a family recipe", though. People whose folks actually knew how to cook probably think more positively about the concept.
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