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I think grifters can exploit any social norm. For example it may be politeness being exploited in the EA community, because the social norm is something like I know when I am politely deceptive it is for the greater good therefore when Sue does it she must also be doing the same thing. If Sue is a bad faith actor she can exploit this.
However in our direct and honest society, the typical minding will be, I know I tell the blunt truth therefore Sue must also be doing the same thing. In a society where everyone tells the truth a lying grifter will also be able to prosper in other words, because if everyone tells the truth, defenses against lying will be even worse.
You can't stop grifters exploiting social norms. They have done it in every society no matter how polite or how truthful. In every conceivable arrangement from communism to capitalism to evangelical churches to atheist movements and beyond. Barbarian tribes had grifters, the Roman Empire had grifters, Victorian England had grifters.
It's not deceptive politeness that enables that, it's people being willing to exploit social norms, whatever they might be. Removing politeness norms and replacing it with something else means grifters have to use different tactics but the result will be the same I think.
I 100% agree. I don't want to do away with politeness, but I also don't want to do away with honest assholes. I think of them like canaries in coal mines, a community's last line of defence. It can lead to false positives if they get too paranoid/belligerent, and it can also be gamed by the manipulative. It's a lot harder to game than politeness though - for a bunch of reasons, but primarily because it is so much more confrontational. We need some people like Dawkins and Diogenes and Jesus, or we will be milled by grifts.
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