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Notes -
Do you think there is actual benefit to fantasizing about having sex with someone, in the eventuality that you actually get to have sex with that person at some point? I am not very certain that imagining having sex with a woman, picturing her liking this, enjoying that, actually helps when you encounter the flesh and blood woman, who likely acts and enjoys completely different things. In fact, I think it probably hinders a fruitful, mutually pleasing sexual encounter.
My argument is fantasizing about sex is ... part of or deeply related to desiring sex, in (same analogy as before) the same sense that 'imagining tasty food' is part of wanting that tasty food. This may be described as 'wanting it so badly you imagine it', but I don't actually think they're separate, or that 'imagination' is a discrete thing separate from normal thought. If you, just as a casual action, plan to reach for a cup, do you "imagine" reaching before you do? Not really, but ... sort of, partially, vacuously?
So 'imagining sex with someone' is just a normal thing. It's possible to spend too much time imagining it and not enough time in pursuit, and that could 'make the sex worse', but I don't think it's made worse in the normal case of imagining it.
I agree with you about imagination, that it is inseparable from rational thought and a needed step in actualizing a potential. I draw a distinction between imagining something - having a thought or chain of thoughts related to a topic that leads to a conclusion regardless of the current state of physical material reality - and fantasizing, dwelling, vividly painting a picture and circling around and around in the same thoughts for minutes and hours and days. Imagination gets you from point A to point B and invites action. Fantasizing is Narcissus staring at his reflection for the rest of his life. It prevents action.
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