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Notes -
If we're going back literally ten thousand generations, I'll stand by "savages." Doesn't mean they weren't human, but I do not think we should credit the "wisdom" of people from the stone age just because they did things a certain way for a very long time.
And yes, I was being a little tongue-in-cheek about cavemen, but I still assume they had relationships (if not necessarily lifetime monogamous partnerships) which did not typically consist of a man grabbing the nearest available woman and raping her. (And if they did, then, well, "savages.")
Granting that a lot of women do get turned on by being dominated, I don't doubt there are times when that works for you. But do you recognize the difference between a partner who generally wants to have sex with you, might not be in the mood at this particular moment, but finds it hot when you make her, and a partner who genuinely, seriously does not want to have sex and whose partner forces her anyway?
If you want to take issue with contemporary notions of "consent," yes, I recognize the problem here in that what you've described with your partner is in fact technically rape and you probably realize she could have you prosecuted for it if she got it into her mind to do so, which is another reason why we should pick our partners very carefully and have very good communication. (I also assume that as a decent human being, you wouldn't pull the "tough shit, on your back" routine if you knew she really, truly did not want to have sex right now and was not going to like it if you forced her.) I don't know exactly how the law can differentiate between "We like to do caveman stuff in the bedroom sometimes" and "My husband is an abusive rapist" other than with a lot of fallible subjectivity, but if we have to choose between "You can 'rape' your wife but take the risk of her someday actually treating it like rape" or "Your wife literally has no legal recourse if you start brutalizing her," I'll go with the first option.
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