Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
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Notes -
-- "I/you deserve x." I'm guilty of saying this about relationships when advising others, but for material goods it always fills me with mild disgust and puritan self hatred. I don't morally deserve most of what I have, I just happen to have it.
-- Trying to use the exclusionary rule of evidence from illicit searches and seizures in day to day life. I think the exclusionary rule is the best way to defend the public from illegal searches and seizures; but that doesn't apply to your girlfriend going through your phone, or to "leaked" government/politician documents. Is it true? Then I don't care how it came out. {Contradicting myself, I hate snitches, if you turn on your friend I'm likely to ignore it, whether public or private citizen. Whistleblower laws are for institutions, not people}
I disagree with your framing, my point is not that snooping is good, it is that snooping does not excuse the behavior discovered during snooping. Being correct or incorrect doesn't change that.
If you snoop and find your boyfriend is cheating on you, he can't throw the snooping out to claim he's the victim here. At the same time, if you did something that seems to me insane like "glancing in mirrors" I would probably never date you. Everyone can be judged by their actions, no need to live by legal fictions.
The reason the exclusionary rule is important at the governmental level is because holding cops accountable is hard. Lawsuits for civil rights violations rarely succeed, and criminal suspects rarely have the resources or wherewithal to fight them to begin with. Society is fairly good at holding insane sexual partners accountable, we can hear the whole story and adjudicate it ourselves.
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Yeah, this is a word I have had a hate relationship with for a long time.
In almost any example, there's probably some poor bastard in some war-torn shithole who "deserves" it more than me. So what does it even mean to deserve something? Is there a minimum threshold, or is it a relative measure where the person who "deserves" it the most has lay to that claim?
I take very literally that {doing things usually done to attain something} increases the probability that {thing being attained} will happen; it's never a guarantee. So I find it annoying to use in this context too.
The third context I find it annoying is when used, such as; For a thing to happen, there are actionable things such as {a,b,c} and things that are out of one's control such as {x,y,z}. If a,b, and c were met that doesn't mean you "deserve" what you wanted, it's a law that x,y,z has to happen too for that thing to materialize, so you don't deserve it because you didn't meet ALL the criteria. It's a shame you didn't get it, but you didn't deserve it.
Ultimately, I think the word deserve is just a consoling word. It's purpose is to show solidarity or pity rather than make any normative or mechanistic statement about anything.
Yeah, it makes no sense in an interpersonal context.
I also rail against the word “deserve”.
At-will employees deserve every dollar they work for, at the rate they agreed to work for. They might need a living (read: middle-class) wage, but don’t tell me they deserve it unless that’s the value of their employment within that market.
And if those employees hire politicians who try to force employers to pay above market value for labor instead of improving the economy to increase the relative value of employment, they deserve an economy which doesn’t work right and eventually collapses. They absolutely need a better economy, but they definitely don’t deserve one.
'Deserve' is a signalling strategy rather than a statement about the form of the good. Same with 'rights'- people who say they have a right to something aren't saying they have any proof of some god guaranteeing it or whatever, they're claiming you'll get strong groups fighting you to get them that thing.
People who steal from their employers and have society's support 'deserve' what they take. People who work hard and are killed, but who have no support from society 'deserve' their own fate, since the power distribution of society gives them that.
I wonder if you should use 'they cause a shit economy' instead of 'deserve' since you're not rallying a base to take their economy from them. To some degree, however, there will always be a part of us which believes the connotations, and maybe we should keep the manipulative terms in our mind for our own psychological benefit, and accept the innacurate model of reality. Personally, even though I understand good is subjective, I can only make decisions in terms of 'x good' 'y bad.'
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Agreed! It drives me nuts when people who advocate a generally capitalist sorting system then claim they Deserve such and such that the market doesn't deliver. You don't deserve a high paying job or a hot partner or a high status, you can get one or you can't.
And worse lately in my area: "Oh man we can't find anyone competent willing to work at a shitty fast food business for shitty wages!" Yeah, society spends 50 years equating flipping burgers with the dregs of society, your business model makes paying a decent wage impossible, if people have other options they aren't going to work there. Sorry, society doesn't owe you competent reliable self starters who will work at $7.75/hr, we can put those people to better use down the street. Improve working conditions, invest in new equipment that can make each worker more productive, or die like the dinosaur you are. Boomers act like it's this big tragedy they can't have 5 fast food places in the same square mile anymore.
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