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The question is, would they still act that way if you didn't have (and they knew you didn't have) such a device? Certainly nobody in my life would. In my experience, the norm is that cell phones enable changing plans, but do not remove the requirement to stick to agreed-upon plans. If you propose a new time/place for a meeting and don't get a confirmation that the other party is OK with that, then you stick to the original agreed-upon plan (or you're a dick and nobody is going to associate with you).
I suspect that my amount of social activity would drop by about half if I tried to enforce this norm on my friends. I've had people no-show with no notice (text message or otherwise), and when I see them again later they seemingly have no memory of ever having made plans. Can I afford to cut all flaky people out of my life? It seems like a losing battle, but maybe I'll feel differently as I get older.
Yeah, to be blunt if I were you I wouldn't keep those people in my life. That sort of behavior just isn't acceptable, phones or no phones. Like, even if you have a phone, what if you don't see their message in time because you're driving to the meetup location? What if there's a technical glitch? What if they thought they sent a message but actually forgot to hit send? There are many sorts of reasons why one may not get a last minute change of plans like that, and in such cases the onus is on the other person to stick to the plan.
Flaky people have always existed. But I'm not personally convinced that the existence of phones has made it acceptable to be flaky when making social plans. Life happens, of course, and everyone is going to have times where they can't make it. But someone who does that regularly is being inconsiderate and is the one in the wrong, even by the standards of today (or at least as far as I've experienced them).
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