There comes a time in every discussion forum user's life that they espouse an unpopular opinion. Not something unpopular in a way that they have broken any rules. But unpopular in a way that many other users want to chime in with their disagreement.
Ratioed
On twitter it is called getting "ratioed" where the unpopular tweets have a higher than normal number of comments relative to likes and retweets. It is viewed as a negative thing to happen when you are on twitter, because saying unpopular things on twitter is seen as bad.
Here on themotte saying unpopular things is not bad. We are here to have discussions with people who have different points of view. If you say something unpopular but not against the rules then you are serving the purpose of themotte. Not only have you not done something bad, you have done something good. You have provided everyone else here with content. There might be some tribal instincts in the back of your head screaming warnings at you "oh no! you have said something unpopular. quick! defend yourself, moderate your position, attack your most aggressive detractors!" These instincts are wrong. Instead, by saying something unpopular you have become the bell of the ball. The star athlete that all the recruiters want. Etc etc. We all want to talk to you!
Death by a thousand cuts
Being the center of attention and wanted by everyone can be stressful, especially when it feels like a form of infamy. There is a common failure mode that we as the mods have to witness happen again and again. The person that is at the center of attention is getting minor attacks that don't rise to the level of moderation. Multiple people might say the equivalent of "I think you are wrong because you aren't smart", or other forms of implied insults. The person at the center of attention will eventually get worn down by all these small cuts and jabs, and they will lash out at someone making the jabs. The lash out often does rise to the level of moderation.
You are the solution
The mods have talked about this phenomenon and we have realized that there isn't a good way to solve this problem through moderation. But! That doesn't mean there is no good solution at all.
These are the strategies I have used when getting ratioed, they've kept me sane, kept me calm, and helped me enjoy my time far more:
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Attitude - You are the popular one. Everyone wants to talk with you. Keep these in mind to avoid the tribal anxiety of 'everyone hates me I have to defend myself!'
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Match Effort - There are lots of responses flying at you and these responses have varying levels of effort. If someone has a low effort comment I do not respond with a well researched and cited response, I will often try and avoid responding to low effort comments altogether. Remember, you are the bell of the ball, they need to come to you.
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Prioritize the Best - Try and respond to your best disagreers first. The ones that bring up the best points, address all the things you said, or are just very polite about how they say it. You should be rewarding their effort, and hopefully signalling to other potential commentors that this is the type of comment you will respond to. This also helps with the next piece of advice:
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Refer back to yourself - Don't get frustrated saying the same thing a bunch of times. If you find yourself having the same argument in two different places, then only have it in the place with the better disagreer, and then point the other people to those posts, or just extensively quote yourself. "I addressed your point while talking with [other user], see my comment here(link)".
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Limit the back and forth - I will usually only give one response to most users. I will try and match their effort and address their points. I will try and have an extended discussion only with the best disagreers. So many instances of me moderating people happen ten or fifteen comments deep into a conversation, when almost everyone else has stopped reading. Both sides have already said the same thing multiple times, and they just become frustrated at each other "How can you resist the amazing logic and beauty of my arguments! Only a cretin and scum could fail to be convinced!" My suggestion is to just say your point and get out. You should expect to not have the last word when you are getting ratioed, so just embrace that reality up front.
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Leave when you are done - Sometimes even with all these strategies you might reach the end of your patience. You just don't want to talk about it anymore. Try and be introspective and recognize when you have reached this point. Once it happens, thank your best disagreer for the good discussion, say you are done with this topic and leave the discussion. Do not feel obligated to respond to additional comments. Your further participation is only likely to get you in trouble. You will likely get more and more frustrated until you lash out.
I also have advice for when you see someone getting ratioed and you want to join in on the dogpile. But that advice is more of a charitable nature, like it would be helpful to the community as a whole, but probably not as much to you personally. If people are interested I'll add it.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
This is directly contradictory to basic reality unfortunately. I can provably orgasm, and experience pleasure (which is not to say satisfaction, which is a wholly different matter), from putting my semen in a banana, my hand, a silicone doll, and so on (which is not to say that any of this is preferable). (And though masturbation is an ugly habit to be the slave of, if we are to recognize nature, we must recognize why nature has allowed us to arouse ourselves when we can't, for example, tickle ourselves.) No fallopian tubes are required. (Perhaps it is a fascist tendency (or a tendency of all politics) or not, but I am not in favor of the rhetorical denial of basic reality to emphasize a moral/spiritual point.)
I don't see how that's true. If anything, having sex with the purpose of childbirth can be degenerate if you are not appropriately managing your breeding impulses with a long-term outlook. (Otherwise Africans having 8 children they can't feed each and vastly overpopulating their continent would be the least degenerate people alive, which I don't think you mean to imply.)
For the same non-reproductive reasons you'd want to have sex with anyone else? Because they are sexually attractive and it will bring you pleasure? Unless you see humans as purely baby-making machines (which to me is the most limited kind of primitive, reactionary thinking that is hardly fascist at all (as fascism explicitly opposed mindless reaction (see: Nazi anthem "Die Fahne hoch" for example)), evident in the fact that as stated above it most closely praises African breeding patterns), these are perfectly valid reasons in appropriate contexts.
Well, you are ignoring a few things I believe:
A. For the vast majority of human history, there wasn't much of a taboo against fertilizing 9 year olds (which can happen in some cases as the youngest mother in human history was actually only 5, and she delivered successfully without dying) or attempting it. (For example, the explicit age of consent in colonial Delaware, inhabited by a reasonably reproductively-oriented people I think you'd agree, was set at 7.) It is very modern and thus cannot be reasonably claimed to be a moral intuition based in inherent human reproductive instinct (as in your cheating example).
(Actually this is not entirely true because I do think there is some reproductive instinct that explains it... the feminine reproductive instinct to establish taboos that allow them to avoid being outcompeted and quickly made reproductively obsolete in their life spans by more attractive and fertile younger females. (See now how so many of them are trying to stigmatize age gaps featuring an older man of almost any size larger than 2-3 years, how many of them shriek about a 27 year old dating a 19 year old for example. The underlying psychological instinct was always barely child "protection" at all and thus naturally never stopped at them.) This of course has likely only begun to influence men at all due to their modern feminization.)
B. We humans are of course a K-selected and not r-selected species (another reason why "sex for breeding only" is a flawed ideology as the human appetite for sex vastly outweighs its capacity for proper investment in offspring). Let me ask you, which is more K-selected behavior:
a. Becoming sexually attracted to other members of your species only at their exact, immediate moment of peak fertility?
b. Or becoming sexually attracted to other members of your species in anticipation of their peak fertility in order to facilitate the establishment of a stronger pair bond (which can take years) prior to that peak fertility which might benefit your offspring?
You now know the evolutionary argument for why men tend to begin to be attracted to females prior to their peak fertility (which is usually not the same as the onset of fertility at all), with escalating degrees of hebephilia/pedophilia simply being different, more highly tuned calibrations of this which naturally establish different reproductive niches. (It is worth noting that this implies that the more pedophilic an individual is, the more naturally K-selected their reproductive strategy is (which is not automatic praise, as basic economic analysis of the concept of "investment" of course reveals that it is possible to be too K-selected).)
I'm no fan of cheating but I think the claim that it "reduces an individual's number of offspring" is highly contextual and requires a greater degree of universal justification.
I've ejaculated in multiple women while using various means of birth control. It felt perfectly pleasurable to me. The satisfaction of reproduction is again provably, empirically perhaps related but easily separable. (You may claim that recognizing this separation is inherently immoral, improper, or inadvisable for various reasons but that's a different argument than claiming that they're equivalent.)
Dominating your own property is not rape (which originally meant theft for obvious reasons, that rape as a sex act was primarily and properly characterized as an aggression not against a woman's consent but a man's property). My quote was not a reference to rape in this fashion.
The Africans appreciate you. Perhaps we men shall simply travel to Mars on a mountain of babies, produced by a race fucking like they're on Ford's factory line to make more and more endless, indistinguishable offspring commensurate with a vigorous human appetite for sexuality because... I forgot why this was supposedly a good thing.
I can assure you that I have had a consummated desire for sex many times without an equivalent comprehensive desire for reproduction (because I non-degenerately recognized that reproduction at that moment was not behaviorally optimal long-term for either myself or my offspring).
Well yes, though the primary initial goal of the breeding programs will be to perfect women as subservient creatures (as I imagine this will be more readily achievable for a time than producing a perfect artificial equivalent) in order to save society from their subversive influences. It worked for dogs even without much in the way of modern science, so I don't take it as impossible.
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