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I've experimented a little with marinades before when trying to perfect my fajitas, but there are some things I am unsure about with them still. For instance, do you always throw your marinade out once you're done with the meat? It seems a bit of a waste to me. Glazing it on is an option I've seen floated, but that seems like it adds extra considerations. And let's say that my marinade is 100% acid. How long is it safe to leave the meat marinating in it? How about 50%? I know that meat gets mealy if you marinate too long, but I don't know how long it needs to get an effect at all.
Since fajitas are just about my favorite meal, maybe I can give grilled pork or chicken fajitas a shot. Also, I can see clearly that I'll need to order a couple thermometers to do grilling correctly. Thankfully, chicken thighs are forgiving. I will take your leg quarter advice under consideration. They do really well in the oven anyway. I tried a soy honey marinade once with leg quarters, and then baked it in with the marinade, but it just turned out really watery and the soy honey flavor didn't come through very well.
If you have a really fantastic marinade that you want to use as a sauce, put it in a small saucepan and cook it down to a thicker consistency.
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Yes, and honestly I don't feel bad about it because it was just there to flavor the meat. It did its job, no need to keep it around.
Marinating is something where you will generally want to spend hours to get any effect. When I do jerk chicken, I marinate overnight. It's perfectly safe as far as I'm aware and I've never had negative results.
You don't need to (lots of cooks have made great meals without thermometers), but they can be helpful for sure. I highly recommend Thermapens. They read temperature near instantly, and they hold up to use very well. They are on the pricy side but I find that worth it for a tool you'll have for a long time to come.
Also if you get into smoking, consider getting a remote probe setup. Ideally it would have at least two probes (one for the meat and one to clip to the grill surface), and the remote will let you monitor the temperature from anywhere in your house. That way you can kick back and relax with (insert beverage of choice here), which is really the best part of smoking meat.
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Yes, you typically toss the marinade, or use it as a glaze while cooking. Just glazing doesn't give you the time that you need. Cooking with the marinade means too much water, which means lower heat (212F), which means no browning.
Long exposure to acid will chemically 'cook' the meat. This is ceviche, for example. 100% acid I would do for no more than an hour, but I don't have a hard and fast rule. A typical marinade with equal parts oil and lemon juice is fine overnight, but I might hesitate doing multiple days.
Thermometers are not 100% necessary, but I would recommend them for chicken leg quarters. I like them in general, so an instant-read is a good tool to have in your kitchen.
For evenly cut steaks, you can use the muscle of your thumb as a guide. Thumb touching pinky, and the thumb muscle feels like well done. Ring finger, medium; middle finger, medium-rare; index finger, rare. I use this for beef and lamb, I'm sure it works for pork, and I don't grill fish at all.
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