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Notes -
I think it's helpful to distinguish two behaviors:
IIUC, you're addressing (1). (1) is actively directing sentiment at fat people. It's unkind for sure, and unlikely (?) to be helpful. Fat people aren't unaware they're fat.
I think (2) is more common, and that you may be conflating it with (1). (2) is a valid, common, reasonable, borderline inevitable way to feel. Any suggestion that people should strive to eliminate (2) is naive. People like beauty, health, and symmetry. The same reflex that makes us avoid corpses, shit, and disease makes us avoid obesity.
That doesn't mean we can't have empathy for the difficulty of losing weight, or the tribulations of being fat. Willpower is hard! Free will is a fuzzy concept at best. But, it also doesn't mean it's reasonable to want people to not have the disgust reaction they so commonly do - that's not the same as "shaming" fat people.
Fair distinction. And yes, I was addressing #1. We had a thread on the motte a few months back where people were arguing that the solution to the obesity problem in America is to try to shame fat people even harder, which I felt was not a realistic solution (even aside from whether we should do it for kindness reasons).
I would say I agree that eliminating #2 is not feasible. I think all we can reasonably expect is that even if people feel disgusted by someone, they don't then start saying "wow fatty you really ate that donut like the fat fuck you are" to the person in question. But how they feel is not really a problem as long as they aren't being mean to others.
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