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Notes -
As someone with mediocre rizz online dating is still the way to go. Met the current gf and every other girl I've been involved with there with two exceptions, and one of those was a coffee shop cold approach which involved me waiting 4 months for her "tAlKiNg sTaGe" to disappoint her until she used me as a rebound.
I despise the apps with a passion, and ALL online dating sites have gone the tinder route of endless swiping with the occasional dopamine hit.
I'd tolerate it if there was a clone of Old OkCupid where you can actually zero in on the ones that are likely to be compatible. That's where I found the most recent Ex, but its clear they're no longer in the business of giving users control of who they see.
Aaaaand that's WHY I despise the apps. Even if you manage to make a connection IRL, they will still have dozens of digital suitors in line ahead of you, and absolutely ZERO pressure to pick one quickly, especially if they 'catch feelings' for someone in particular and now judge all others by that person's idealized standard.
Also I despise the terminology that's sprung up around the current dating discourse to mask how dysfunctional/unhealthy it is. "Talking stage" aka one of you is probably stringing the other along to maintain optionality (not always, I grant). "Situationship" i.e. you're [something] with benefits but neither side wants to be the first to admit their true motives. "Hard Launch" aka you can't actually be a real couple until its been explicitly announced via social media (yes, I remember the term "Facebook Official," hated it then too). Until then, you're a "Sneaky Link" a/k/a someone they're unwilling to even admit to seeing, often because it'd lower their social status if it were known. Or you give someone "the ick" and they drop you out of nowhere.
Blech. Don't normalize dysfunction with cutesy terms please.
"Rebound" is actually a decent description how that dynamic works, but its still an unhealthy practice imho.
Part of this is me getting older, but I'm also trying, against all cultural pressure, to treat everyone I get 'involved' with as if they're an actual human (until proven otherwise), and try NOT to poison the well for everyone.
Same! I hate those apps and how theyve ruined dating for everyone. Even if yiu dont use them, everyone else is if there was a movement to ban them like how they almost banned tiktok, i'd be a fanatical supporter
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