The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
61 dates since mid 2023 is ~3/month. So "attractive" is a reasonable theory, but that's not that crazy. I read the 3-4/week part and didn't realize that was a brief peak, not an average. Now that's a big number.
I went on two dozen first dates last year, all from apps (mostly Hinge), and if you subtract out three months of various compelling reasons to not go on first dates, that's a similar rate. (OP is probably also doing that, so I'm cheating with that math, but still.)
And I am...optimistically middle of the bell curve attractive. My job and such I'm sure offset that some, but you really shouldn't underestimate how effective it is to follow a strategy of "don't be super fat, and do send a lot of messages to women who are not wildly out of your league."
I also think NYC is a culturally distinct place for dating. Lots of dating, not a lot of commitment. Too expensive to live in a nice home, too crowded to hike, so just date and fuck and go to restaurants I guess. I haven't lived there, but I have heard from people who have. It sounds interesting, but terrible.
NYC was well known in the PUA community as one of the best dating scenes for single men in America.
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