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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2557 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for February 21, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Have children, don’t be neurotic about it.

2rafa, you don't need to have children if they don't work for you and your husband's lifestyle.

2rafa is a woman.

Have children. Fertile marriages give you something to collaborate on. It ties you together, forces you both to be responsible in your relationship even when you don't feel like it. And you won't always feel like it. Sometimes, you don't have to like it, you just have to do it. Children make sure there's a point to that, and you don't just let it slide. Besides, they make you happy. You need the joy in life. You need the randomness, the wonder, and the being-depended-on.

I don't think there's a way to collect objective data on whether having children makes a marriage better or worse- the selection effects overwhelm anything useful- but there's a sense of 'burning the bridges' in making a permanent commitment and there's a sense of connection to the ancestors, this sense of abandoning individualism to stick together by hook or by crook. You won't have a successful marriage by saying 'this far and no further', no, you have to firmly commit to making it work whatever the cost, and what better way than to have that which, by nature, you love more than yourself depending on it? By having children you become another iteration of the human condition, getting by how you can, the same as your forefathers and foremothers, part of the great engine of continuity because there is no other option even when you really don't want to, or you'd rather do something else. There's no I in team, and you're a team now. Not just when it works with your lifestyle.

Having children is a choice not a requirement.

Well, you can stipulate this, and I can do the opposite. I don't think it's marriage unless the couple is at least willing to try for children, and my church would back me up on that. A secure partnership for the generation and upbringing of children is at least one of the central aspects of marriage.

But people can call a legally-encumbered fling anything they want, I suppose.

Yes, it's the right choice, and not having them is the wrong one. Not having them is opting to become a casualty of your own bad decisions.

Not having them is fine, too. There are plenty of childless, married couples out there making it work.

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