This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I do not drive half an hour to do things. I walk, bike or jog to local parks with my kid. I drive a few minutes to local businesses. Maybe 15 minutes to do something the next town over. 20 minutes to work, a very pleasant 20 minutes listening to music or podcasts. No American public transit schizophrenics allowed in my car.
I'm in a town, not on the middle of nowhere. I walk outside my door and do meaningful things. Mostly with children, since just about everyone with kids and financial means independently decided to move to my neighborhood or equivalent.
Were you living in a closet, Harry Potter style? I kid a bit, but that is less than half the cost of a studio apartment. I checked a bunch of listings and failed to find one under 2k. I'm sure there's some low income housing cheaper than that. Or renting a room in a house. I think this explains your wondering what people spend their money on: a home without flatmates and with multiple rooms so their family can share it with them.
You were the one who said half an hour away. I don't know where you find suburbs like that in the US - I had the misfortune of being marooned in a suburb of DC for about a month during COVID, and the only things that could be reached without a car were a patch of forest full of discarded needles and a Starbucks that could be reached by walking through that forest, another 20 minutes through a sort of industrial/warehouse area and finally crossing a six-lane highway.
Are you talking about something like Manhattan or the Bay Area? I got a place on the ridiculous order of 60m² for that in the small college town where I lived in the US (which locals seemed to believe was unusually expensive), and 30m²+ studio apartments in every European city I have lived (I gather Paris and Munich are more expensive now, but that might be about it?). I even had friends with a 1BR in Brooklyn that was on the same order of magnitude that they only paid 1400 a month for. No roommates in any case cited, and all but the first
I'm a no-traffic half hour away from the nearest major city. I don't generally go there. Not more than once every few months.
I just now checked a few suburbs along the west coast. Not counting the bay area. Typical prices are $2k+ for studio or 1bd. I was able to find sub-2k listing, but those are very few. The suburbs around Portland stand out as strangely cheap with plenty of sub-2k listings. Everywhere else almost every apartment ad is over $2k. I saw one for just over $1k but the size was less than $250 sq ft. "Harry Potter" style.
I've lived in various suburbs across the West coast. I don't know if I have ever lived more than 2 miles from a grocery store and series of large shopping centers. I have never had to cross a freeway to get to a store, unless you mean by biking along a normal road under an overpass.
I never lived outside of DC. Maybe they are particularly shitty.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I once lived in a duplex with my husband and baby for $500/month including utilities, but it was in a small town, and did feel like a closet. I could walk to work there, which was fairly nice. But I'm more confused about spending $1,000 a month on food for one person. We spend about $800 on food for two adults, two children, a baby, and two cats, and aren't trying all that hard. Like, we just ate salmon sushi with miso soup for dinner.
That's about what it costs to eat out all the time.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link