Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
Do you find that many persons you're acquainted with suffer from an issue that roughly translates as follows:
A) They don't know what they REALLY want in life (in the broadest sense) and can't precisely describe it.
B) They use some other metrics or method to find what they THINK they want. This could be looking at what is popular or buying into marketing campaigns or just doing what "feels good."
C) They usually get what they THINK they want but it turns out it's not what they truly want, so it doesn't satisfice the need/desire.
D) They spend additional efforts convincing themselves and others that they DO want this thing and its actually great.
E) They careen through life being mostly unhappy and yet not sure why since on paper they have very few unfulfilled needs.
This is NOT anhedonia, it's more like either not knowing oneself well enough or lacking the language to precelisely ID or express one's 'true' preferences.
In contrast, I think I can identify things that I want, be it in music, movies, food, a romantic partner, etc. with high precision.
And I am accurate in this identification so if I acquire/find such a thing, I'm actually contented if it meets the criteria.
Thus, I am generally happier on average because I seek and find things that actually satisfice my actual desires.
The shortfall is when I identify something I want in theory and upon searching it turns out such a thing doesn't exist and will probably not exist for a while. Which is saddening.
But different from seeking things you think you want but aren't actually what you would want if you knew what you wanted.
On mobile, at gym, sorry for gaps in the explanation, but The Last Psychiatrist (Edward Teach) talks about pretty much only this, in a hundred different ways. In the absence of any higher moral principles, you don’t even know how to desire things, and so the consumerist system steps in to teach you what and HOW to desire. All it cares about is keeping the money flowing, so it’s not weird that no one actually becomes happier, and it substitutes the much easier illusion of happiness by making identity (as divorced from actual deeds) the centrepiece of satisfaction. People allow this because the system promises absolution without requiring action, and people hate hate hate actually doing something to change their lives.
I'm following. I'm trying to get at whether it is as common as it seems to be or if that is more an artifact of my own perception.
I also see people who, from the outside, appear to be locked into lives that they are fully content with and thus they have "solved" for their own personal happiness. And I envy those people a bit. No more searching? Sounds nice.
But more common seems to be those who are wandering around in hopes of stumbling into some kind of contentment and not having any decent search strategy.
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I find a more common problem is going through steps A) to C) above, and then more like:
D) Realising that they are not happy with the thing they thought they wanted
E) Moving on to the next thing they think they want, rinsing and repeating
F) Wondering why they are tired, broke, and don't have any rewarding experiences to show for it.
Point.
Although that seems to be a strategy that at least allows someone to possibly stumble into something fulfilling, if they can avoid the dozens of possible failure modes.
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